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Some people think one should stay all their life in the same job, whereas others advocate changing jobs from time to time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think one should stay all their life in the same job, whereas others advocate changing jobs from time to time. Kwypk
It is often argued because of the distinct mindset of society that few people consider working at one workplace for the whole life; however, others prefer to keep on changing it with time. This essay will articulate both views along with my perception. To initiate, some people believe that doing a job under the same organization for a long time is beneficial due to myriad reasons. First of all, they would get a pay rise because of attaining the experience of several years. In other words, they would be appointed to a higher position as per their work ethics and productivity which leads to an increment in their salaries. Secondly, they would be eligible for the pension programs when they would get retired provided by the government as their employers would support them on behalf of their hard work and loyalty towards the workplace. Moreover, if they stay in one place where they do the job, social recognition can be achieved. To explain it, they would be known for their designation in their community. For instance, Max worked as a doctor in a hospital for lifelong, so, he would be known as a Doctor Max. Although, there are several noticeable points of having a choice of different workstations. Firstly, if they would be offered a higher salary package, which as a result, would lead to migration from their previous one. Consequently, they would earn more money in order to improve their lifestyle and standard in society. On more reason regarding this notion is they would enter into a new environment. Furthermore, there would be an opportunity to learn and complete new targets as per the requirements with other mates and a chance to know them. For example, observe their diverse mindset and culture. In conclusion, I believe both views are having their own pros as per the points in the above paragraphs. Mental and economical satisfaction can be obtained by working at the same place, in addition to multifarious one’s.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the distinct mindset of society that few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider working at one workplace for the whole life;
however
, others prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on changing it with time. This essay will articulate both views along with my perception.

To initiate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that doing a job under the same organization for a long time is beneficial due to myriad reasons.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a pay rise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of attaining the experience of several years.
In other words
, they would
be appointed
to a higher position as per their work ethics and productivity which leads to an increment in their salaries.
Secondly
, they would be eligible for the pension programs when they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
retired provided by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
as their employers would support them on behalf of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and loyalty towards the workplace.
Moreover
, if they stay in one place where they do the job, social recognition can
be achieved
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it, they would
be known
for their designation in their community.
For instance
, Max worked as a doctor in a hospital for lifelong,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, he would
be known
as a Doctor Max.

“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, there are several noticeable points of having a choice of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
workstations.
Firstly
, if they would
be offered
a higher salary package, which
as a result
, would lead to migration from their previous one.
Consequently
, they would earn more money in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their lifestyle and standard in society. On more reason regarding this notion is they would enter into a new environment.
Furthermore
, there would be an opportunity to learn and complete new targets as per the requirements with other mates and a chance to know them.
For example
, observe their diverse mindset and culture.

In conclusion
, I believe both views are having their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pros as per the points in the above paragraphs. Mental and economical satisfaction can
be obtained
by working at the same place,
in addition
to multifarious one’s.
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IELTS essay Some people think one should stay all their life in the same job, whereas others advocate changing jobs from time to time.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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