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Some people think new houses need to be built with private outdoor spaces

Some people think new houses need to be built with private outdoor spaces YmeJn
Over the last decade the opinion of people who live in 21 century have changed dramatically. Some people consider that new residences need to built with private outdoor spaces such as a terrace, yard or garden. There are both pros and cons of constructing new apartments with alfresco spaces. So i will discuss some of beneficial and detrimental sides in this essay. Let's begin by looking at the advantages of building houses with outdoor spaces. One of notable plus is that people who live in these kinds of houses can organise small parties in their yard or terrace. As a result, you know home party is cheaper than having party in clubs, so you can save much more money from this side. Secondly, a garden or balcony means a private green space which homeowners can plant trees, fruits and vegetables in their own gardens. Additionaly, trees make fresh air, so they can breathe from pure air. If they have own balcony, they can engage swimming in their free time. These positive aspects clearly show the importance of having an outdoor space at our disposal. On the other hand, these luxuries can only be afforded by rich families. Because these apartments which were built with alfresco spaces are so expensive. Some people can not purchase them. Another issue is that, overpopulation is becoming more popular. If government build flats instead of houses with outdoor spaces can be more beneficial. If those houses are built, millions of people especially poor people can not find their own home. All things considered, staying without residence is very dangerous, so we need to establish more flats. Because, in my opinion, the benefits in terms of personal growth eventually outweigh any negatives.
Over the last decade the opinion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
Did you mean "21st century"?
21 century
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
dramatically
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that new residences need to built with private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
such as a terrace, yard or garden. There are both pros and cons of constructing new apartments with alfresco
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
Did you mean "I"?
i
will discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of beneficial and detrimental sides in this essay.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
by looking at the advantages of building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
. One of notable plus is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
can
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
parties in their yard or terrace.
As a result
, you know home party is cheaper than having party in clubs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you can save much more money from this side.
Secondly
, a garden or balcony means a private green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
which homeowners can plant trees, fruits and vegetables in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
gardens.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Additionaly
, trees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
fresh air,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can breathe from pure air. If they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
balcony, they can engage swimming in their free time. These
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the importance of having an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
at our disposal.
On the other hand
, these luxuries can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be afforded
by rich families.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
these apartments which
were built
with alfresco
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
expensive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
them. Another issue is that, overpopulation is becoming more popular.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
build flats
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
can be more beneficial. If those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
are built
, millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
especially
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not find their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
home. All things considered, staying without residence is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we need to establish more flats.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, in my opinion, the benefits in terms of personal growth
eventually
outweigh any negatives.
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IELTS essay Some people think new houses need to be built with private outdoor spaces

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
286 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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