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Some people think nations and individuals should focus on their own personal problems rather than global ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think nations and individuals should focus on their own personal problems rather than global ones. r8kxo
Man is a social animal. Some people think global issues should be neglected by human beings and they should focus on their own problems. My perspective is opposite of this view. I will explain my reasons with supportive facts that, why one should pay attention to global issues as well. Firstly, in this tech-savvy world, problems such as; crime rate, cybercrime and pollution are the major issues faced by every nation around the world. These issues are related to individuals as well as to the nations because individuals are part of society. So, if people will ignore these problems, when these are happening around them, someday they will suffer the same complications in their personal life. For instance, in Asian countries such as India and Pakistan, rape cases are increasing every day, if people will ignore these crimes, who knows they will become victims of these issues. So, global issues cannot be ignored at any cost. Secondly, as being a patriot citizen of the nation, it is the duty of every individual to take global issues personally, so that collaboratively we can uproot them from society. For example, air pollution is another major global issue. If the citizens of nations will not take it seriously, then one day the whole world will suffer from respiratory diseases. This way, as being good citizens, it is our duty to take initiatives to prevent global problems. In conclusion, the perspective of some people to focus on individuals' problems rather than global issues is contrary to my views because issues of society cannot be ignored if a person wants to solve his personal issues.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Man
is a social animal.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
should
be neglected
by human
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
beings and
they should focus on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. My perspective is opposite of this view. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my reasons with supportive facts that, why one should pay attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
as well
.

Firstly
, in this tech-savvy world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as; crime rate, cybercrime and pollution are the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
faced by every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
around the world. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
are related
to individuals
as well
as to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
individuals are part of society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if
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people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, when these are happening around them, someday they will suffer the same complications in their personal life.
For instance
, in Asian countries such as India and Pakistan, rape cases are increasing every day, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
these crimes, who knows they will become victims of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
at any cost.

Secondly
, as being a patriot citizen of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
, it is the duty of every individual to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
personally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
collaboratively
we can uproot them from society.
For example
, air pollution is another major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
. If the citizens of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
will not take it
seriously
, then one day the whole world will suffer from respiratory diseases. This way, as being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizens, it is our duty to take initiatives to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
problems.

In conclusion
, the perspective of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to focus on individuals'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
is contrary to my views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
of society cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
if a person wants to solve his personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
.
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IELTS essay Some people think nations and individuals should focus on their own personal problems rather than global ones.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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