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Some people think money osvaldo the major source to happiness. Do you agree or disagree??

Some people think money osvaldo the major source to happiness. ? dlKbK
It is argued that some think that money is the main source to be happy. This essay agrees with this statement because we need money to survive and without it would be impossible to acquire elemental things we need in our daily life. To begin with, having a great capital is important as economy is expensive up-to-date. Many people need to get medicines and medical services which are not inexpensive and mostly of them cannot afford to pay that. Besides, in poor countries the lack of savings is well known because salaries are not as high as in rich nations. Recent research concluded that poor people might tend to struggle. Some do not have the opportunity to buy clothes, food, shelter and many other necessities in life. Therefore, the context in which a person lives is large part of their happiness. Secondly, money help us to get some freedom or independence. This is particularly the opportunity to make the most of our skills and talents, the ability to choose our own course in life, financial security and much more, which of course bring a smile and happiness to our and our family lives. Moreover, a research has shown that spending money on others makes us happier than spending money on ourselves and doing small acts of kindness increases life satisfaction. In conclusion, there are people who consider that having finances is the ultimate source of happiness because money is quite significant to stand and not having it we cannot solve our basic needs.
It
is argued
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the main source to be happy. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to survive and without it would be impossible to acquire elemental things we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
in our daily life.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, having a great capital is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as economy is expensive up-to-date.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
medicines and medical services which are not inexpensive and
mostly
of them cannot afford to pay that.
Besides
, in poor countries the lack of savings is well known
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
salaries are not as high as in rich nations. Recent research concluded that poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might tend to struggle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
do not have the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
clothes, food, shelter and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other necessities in life.
Therefore
, the context in which a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
is large part of their happiness.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
freedom or independence. This is
particularly
the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the most of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and talents, the ability to choose our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
course in life, financial security and much more, which
of course
bring a smile and happiness to our and our family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Moreover
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
has shown that spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us happier than spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on ourselves and doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
acts of kindness increases life satisfaction.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who consider that having finances is the ultimate source of happiness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is quite significant to stand and not having it we cannot solve our basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
.
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IELTS essay Some people think money osvaldo the major source to happiness. ?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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