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It is true that international sporting events have become more and more popular in recent decades. While one school of thought holds this tendency is fraught with pitfalls, I am convinced that it will be of paramount importance to our communities.

It is true that international sporting events have become more and more popular in recent decades. While one school of thought holds this tendency is fraught with pitfalls, I am convinced that it will be of paramount importance to our communities. BwROw
On the one hand, it is unbeneficial for most countries to host international sports events based on two main reasons that come from the increase in crime rate and an exhausting preparation process. Firstly, it is a great chance for robbers and criminals to take illegal actions when countries organize international sports events because of lacking strict security and the audience’s guard. Secondly, the process of preparing for those events demands numerous workers and a huge amount of money. For example, the World Cup 2014 took Brazil five years to revitalize the cities and construct various facilities including stadiums and indoor athletics arenas to meet the world-class standard set by FIFA. On the other hand, there is a compelling reason why I am convinced that hosting international sports events can stimulate a country's tourism. By organizing this event, a country is able to attract a large number of tourists. When numerous foreign visitors attend these sports events, the host country is likely to proliferate the sales of products and public services such as accommodations and transportations. For instance, after hosting Sea Games in 2003, Vietnam has attracted a lot of tourists and was recognised as “Kitchen of the World”, which helped push up Vietnam’s position on a global stage. In conclusion, although there are many disadvantages for numerous countries to hosting international sports events, I believe that the benefits of this tendency can have promoted cultural value of the country, and increased the position.
On the one hand, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
unbeneficial
for most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
based on two main reasons that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from the increase in crime rate and an exhausting preparation process.
Firstly
, it is a great chance for robbers and criminals to take illegal actions when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
organize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lacking strict security and the audience’s guard.
Secondly
, the process of preparing for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
demands numerous workers and a huge amount of money.
For example
, the World Cup 2014 took Brazil five years to revitalize the cities and construct various facilities including stadiums and indoor athletics arenas to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the world-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
standard set by FIFA.

On the other hand
, there is a compelling reason why I
am convinced
that hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
can stimulate a country's tourism. By organizing this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is able to attract
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
tourists. When numerous foreign visitors attend these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
, the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is likely to proliferate the sales of products and public services such as accommodations and transportations.
For instance
, after hosting Sea Games in 2003, Vietnam has attracted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
tourists and was
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
as “Kitchen of the World”, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
push up Vietnam’s position on a global stage.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages for numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
, I believe that the benefits of this tendency can have promoted cultural value of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, and increased the position.
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IELTS essay It is true that international sporting events have become more and more popular in recent decades. While one school of thought holds this tendency is fraught with pitfalls, I am convinced that it will be of paramount importance to our communities.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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