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Some people think it is cruel to keep animals in zoos. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think it is cruel to keep animals in zoos. XD6Kg
Keeping animals in zoos is an important issue today. Proponents of animal rights say that it it cruel to cage animals for entertainment, whereas others believe that zoos are necessary for the protection and survival of many vulnerable species. I will outline both arguments and argue that imprisoning animals for our own entertainment is both cruel and unnecessary. One of the reasons why people are in favour of zoos is that they believe the animals are safe and protected. Unfortunately this is not always the case. Just because they are kept safe from hunters and predators does not necessarily mean that they are happy and healthy. Indeed many animals show signs of abnormal repetitive behaviour when they are confined to small spaces and unable to behave as they would in the wild. People also argue that zoos serve an educational purpose and that they are vital for conservation. Again, it is true that the high entrance fees fund research that could ultimately save a species from extinction, but this only takes place in a handful of zoos and does not excuse the torment that animals have to endure from busloads of children banging on glass windows and rattling their cages. There is one final argument that is often cited in defence of zoos. That is that they are merely a form of entertainment and that training animals such as seals and killer whales to perform tricks for visitors keeps them mentally alert and physically fit. In my view, this is no better than the abuse of animals in circuses, most of which have now thankfully been banned. On balance, I am not in favour of keeping animals in captivity because to my mind zoos are like prisons. If the main aim of a zoo is to protect endangered species, it is by far preferable to breed animals in private nature reserves, away from the public eye as they have done very successfully with the panda conservation programme in China.
Keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoos is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. Proponents of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
rights say that
It seems you either mean "it is", "if it", "it" or there is a comma missing: "it, it".
it it
cruel to cage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for entertainment, whereas others believe that zoos are necessary for the protection and survival of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
vulnerable species. I will outline both arguments and argue that imprisoning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
entertainment is both cruel and unnecessary.

One of the reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of zoos is that they believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are safe and protected. Unfortunately this is not always the case.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
safe from hunters and predators does not
necessarily
mean that they are happy and healthy.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Indeed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
signs of abnormal repetitive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
when they
are confined
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
spaces and unable to behave as they would in the wild.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
also
argue that zoos serve an educational purpose and that they are vital for conservation. Again, it is true that the high entrance fees fund research that could
ultimately
save a species from extinction,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
takes place in a handful of zoos and does not excuse the torment that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
endure from busloads of children banging on glass windows and rattling their cages.

There is one final argument
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
cited in
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
of zoos.
That is
that they are
merely
a form of entertainment and that training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
such as seals and killer whales to perform tricks for visitors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
them mentally alert and
physically
fit. In my view, this is no better than the abuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in circuses, most of which have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
thankfully
been banned
.

On balance, I am not in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in captivity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
to my mind zoos are like prisons. If the main aim of a zoo is to protect endangered species, it is by far preferable to breed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in private nature reserves, away from the public eye as they have done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
successfully
with the panda conservation
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
in China.
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IELTS essay Some people think it is cruel to keep animals in zoos.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
329 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
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