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Some people think it is better to leave their country to work and to live better. Others think it is better to stay in their own country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think it is better to leave their country to work and to live better. Others think it is better to stay in their own country. PJXE
When people finish school or university, they face dilemma of whether to leave their country or to stay in their country for improving their work and living opportunities. There are some benefits to leave their state. I would argue that it is better to go to another state. According to the statistic information, world population is more than 7 billion 800. 000 million. Half of them are middle aged people. Certainly somebody choose to work a foreign country and somebody wants to work their own country. The option to start work is attractive for several reasons. Working and living own country has benefits such as: the cost of living is cheaper, they can live with their family and they have civil rights as a citizen. On the other hand, most people leave their country because they want to work or live abroad. Foreign countries workplaces may offer greater opportunities and good jobs in a particular foreign country. If people choose to work and live a foreign country, they can make friends. Mainly, they learn a foreign language completely. They can explore different cultures maybe they live with their family. In the new place, they will have to live and work other people of various nationalities. Thus, overseas people are exposed to different customs, cultures and point of view. For the reason mentioned above, it seems that if people leave their country, they will be individual and successful in life. I completely argue to work and live another place.
When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
finish school or university, they face dilemma of whether to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
or to stay in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for improving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and living opportunities. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
their state. I would argue that it is better to go to another state.

According to the statistic information, world population is more than 7 billion 800. 000 million. Half of them are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
middle aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Certainly
somebody
The pronoun 'somebody' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "chooses", "chose".
choose
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and somebody wants to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. The option to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is attractive for several reasons. Working and living
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has benefits such as: the cost of living is cheaper, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
family and
they have civil rights as a citizen.

On the other hand
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
abroad.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
workplaces may offer greater opportunities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
jobs in a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends.
Mainly
, they learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
language completely. They can explore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures maybe they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with their family. In the new place, they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of various nationalities.
Thus
, overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are exposed
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
customs, cultures and point of view.

For the reason mentioned above, it seems that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they will be individual and successful in life. I completely argue to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
another place.
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IELTS essay Some people think it is better to leave their country to work and to live better. Others think it is better to stay in their own country.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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