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In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations. VM07
Nowadays, the development countries have increased their life expecting. This essay will discuss the negative impacts of elderly people on the individual and society and suggest potential solutions to eliminate these impacts. People being more healthier in Industrialized countries, that will increase their life expected, one of the most popular problems the pension of elderly people will escalated, hence will have directly effect on working the budget burden for country. For instance, the proportion of the younger workers will declined, due to face, will receive less money in taxes. As well as the elderly people will rose the demand on the healthcare sector, indeed that will increase the expenditure on the medicines and doctors. Ageing population will lead to major problems which will threaten our society. On the other hand, if the government take major steps to eradicating these problems as increased the retirement age for working adults from 65-70 years, which these days people are tend to be healthy enough to be continue a productive working life, as well as the government should be customize some of their budget to improve health care sector and expand it to accommodate number of people as they can.
Nowadays, the development countries have increased their life expecting. This essay will discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on the individual and society and suggest potential solutions to eliminate these impacts.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
being
Use only "healthier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more healthier
in Industrialized countries, that will increase their life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
, one of the most popular problems the pension of elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will escalated,
hence
will have
directly
effect on working the budget burden for country.
For instance
, the proportion of the younger workers will declined, due to face, will receive less money in taxes.
As well
as the elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will rose the demand on the healthcare sector,
indeed
that will increase the expenditure on the medicines and doctors.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Ageing' is British English.
Ageing
population will lead to major problems which will threaten our society.

On the other hand
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
take major steps to eradicating these problems as increased the retirement age for working adults from 65-70 years, which these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are tend to be healthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to be
Consider using a past participle here: "continued".
continue
a productive working life,
as well
as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should be
Consider using the past participle "customized"?
customize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of their budget to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
health care sector and expand it to accommodate number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as they can.
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IELTS essay In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
196 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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