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Some people think it is better for to begin to learn a foreign language at primary school than at secondary school.Do you think advantage of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think it is better for to begin to learn a foreign language at primary school than at secondary school. Do you think advantage of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? VXe7
It is believed by some individual that learning the overseas language at early schooling is more effective rather than studying at primary level. I reckon that knowing different language in early age definitely has more merits than demerits. To embark on, the first and for most benefits of studying abroad language at an early age is it enables them to become more fluent in language in the later age, which helps them to develop communication skills. Since child can learn different easily in their early age then when they grown. For instance, according to recent research kids can easily grab any kinds of language easily when they are trained form childhood age. Moreover, children acquiring multiple language are more confident and are more competitive than those children learning monolingual language. Moreover, they are not only good at study, but also they involved in extra curriculm activities like singing, dancing, playing sports etc. According to the recent study, multilingual kids are better in math and science than those who have knowledge of only one language. On the other hand, offspring who acquire more language are quick at problem solving and can cope in time of adversity. Furthermore, several language helps them to broaden the horizon and make them socially intelligence, which means they can make friends easily. Furthermore, they are more like extrovert, and they find no difficulty in expressing their opinion and thought However, same children learning at primary school are introvert, and have difficulty on learning language because they are more focus on one language that they studied in their childhood, so it will be very difficult to grab language quickly and make them less fluent than those learning at early age. In conclusion, kids in early age have the ability to aquire several language so fast and they can develop fluency whatever language they learn, as a result, they can build their personal and professional skill when they are matured.
It
is believed
by
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some
individual that
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learning
the overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
schooling is more effective
rather
than studying at primary level. I reckon that knowing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
definitely has more merits than demerits.

To embark on, the
first
and for most benefits of studying abroad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is it enables them to become more fluent in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in the later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to develop communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Since child can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
then when they
Possible grammatical error. You used a past participle without using any required verb ('be' or 'have'). Did you mean "grew"?
grown
.
For instance
, according to recent research kids can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
grab any kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
when they
are trained
form childhood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
Moreover
, children acquiring multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
are more confident and are more competitive than those children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
monolingual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
Two successive sentences begin with the same adverb. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
Moreover
, they are not
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only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at study,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they involved in extra
Possible spelling mistake found.
curriculm
activities like singing, dancing, playing sports etc. According to the recent study, multilingual kids are
Use "good at" to mean "skilled" with school subjects. Try this: "better at math".
better in math
and science than those who have knowledge of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one language.

On the other hand
, offspring who acquire more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
are quick at problem solving and can cope in time of adversity.
Furthermore
, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to broaden the horizon and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
socially
intelligence, which means they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
.
Two successive sentences begin with the same adverb. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
Furthermore
, they are more like extrovert, and they find no difficulty in expressing their opinion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
However
, same children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
at primary school are introvert, and have difficulty on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are more focus on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
that they studied in their childhood,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to grab
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
quickly
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them less fluent than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
age.

In conclusion
, kids in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
have the ability to
Possible spelling mistake found.
aquire
several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
fast and
they can develop fluency whatever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
they learn,
as a result
, they can build their personal and professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
when they
are matured
.
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IELTS essay Some people think it is better for to begin to learn a foreign language at primary school than at secondary school. Do you think advantage of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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