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Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets, many small local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets, many small local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. A2X3
The number of supermarkets in any area are on a continuous increase which is very alarming for the local shops that are operating there. It has become very difficult for these small businesses to stand against the competition by big departmental stores. Few people also fear that if these shops shutdown this could lead to the extinction of local communities. Although I agree to some extent but the benefits these supermarkets bring to people are enormous. We have seen that these small shops in our area has their own societal value as it plays the role of community centers in small localities, hence are not just limited to being a shops providing everyday items to the people. It an avenue of interaction between the people living in the same environment and being concerned about their closure is not abnormal because it is the important part of their social life. For instance, elderly people go to these stores, stand there and interact with different people and bring the positive mental effect of this back home. Similarly, youngsters have these stations as their meeting point each day. Hence one cannot reject the notion that these shops in our area are the essence of local communities and are under threat by the pace at which supermarkets are expanding. But we have to accept that big supermarkets and departmental stores offers a lot to us as customers, from giving competitive prices, more variety to choose from and above all a comfortable environment where we can go as a family and shop together. All this has made grocery shopping a pleasant experience even for those who never enjoyed it. For example, stores like Metro supermarket and Imtiaz store are always cluttered with people because it has provided the ease of shopping to people and they have shifted from buying supplies daily to monthly grocery shopping. Although these grocery stores give fierce competition to local shops which may result in their complete shut down because they can never compete with them either on the prices or on the experience.
The number of supermarkets in any area are on a continuous increase which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
alarming for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
that are operating there. It has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
businesses to stand against the competition by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
departmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
. Few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
fear that if these
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "shops'" or "shop's"?
shops
shutdown this could lead to the extinction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
communities. Although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the benefits these supermarkets bring to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are enormous.

We have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in our area has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
societal value as it plays the role of community centers in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
localities,
hence
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
limited to being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
providing everyday items to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It an avenue of interaction between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in the same environment and
being concerned
about their closure is not abnormal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of their social life.
For instance
, elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
, stand there and interact with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and bring the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
mental effect of this back home.
Similarly
, youngsters have these stations as their meeting point each day.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
one cannot reject the notion that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in our area are the essence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
communities and are under threat by the pace at which supermarkets are expanding.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
accept that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
supermarkets and departmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
offers a lot to us as customers, from giving competitive prices, more variety to choose from and
above all
a comfortable environment where we can go as a family and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
together. All this has made grocery shopping a pleasant experience even for those who never enjoyed it.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
like Metro supermarket and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Imtiaz
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
are always cluttered with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has provided the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of shopping to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they have shifted from buying supplies daily to monthly grocery shopping.

Although these grocery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
give fierce competition to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
which may result in their complete shut down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can never compete with them either on the prices or on the experience.
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IELTS essay Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets, many small local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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