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nowadays more and more young people hold important positions in the government . some people think that it is a good thing while other argue that it is not suitable . discuss both views and give your opinion .

nowadays more and more young people hold important positions in the government. some people think that it is a good thing while other argue that it is not suitable. LrBgn
the concept essential top positions in authority obtained by most of young people in present era, has spirited a debate and divided falks in two values in the contemporary society. according to some people type of development is well founded while other disagree and say it is not reliable. in my opinion, I agree with former view this development is important for country and people of country on the one hand, top post in government take by mostly young people is beneficial for country as young people has fresh and creative minds and they are able to take country forward by developing new and creative ideas. they have more enthusiasm for doing work for their country and they are on higher post they can do a lot work for the development of the country. secondly they also have knowledge about the current happenings and as a young they are aware about the problem of new generation and make decision which are good for people finally they are physically fit and have a capacity to do a lot of work on the other hand, this is not better that more young people hold top position in government. first reason behind this that they have a lack of experience and that why sometimes they made wrong decisions which are not suitable for the society. Another course of this argument is that, opposite side people believe that these type of significant government postss hould be in the hand of more experienced people such as older people, because they have years of experience of life and they can handle situation more effectively and would make good decisions for society. to conclude, I reteirate my opinion that in present scanario, it is better to let the energetic youth take the nation forward by offering them important posts in government.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
concept essential top positions in authority obtained by most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in present era, has spirited a debate and divided
Possible spelling mistake found.
falks
in two values in the contemporary society.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
according
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
type of development is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well founded
while other disagree and say it is not reliable.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with former view this development is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
on the one hand, top post in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
take by
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
fresh and creative
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
minds and
they are able to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
forward by developing new and creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
have more enthusiasm for doing work for their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
country and
they are on higher post they can do
If you mean a great quantity, use "a lot of work"?
a lot work
for the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
they
also
have knowledge about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
happenings and as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
they are aware about the problem of new generation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decision which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
finally
they are
physically
fit and have a capacity to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
work
on the other hand
, this is not better that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold top position in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
first
reason behind this that they have a lack of experience and that why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
decisions which are not suitable for the society. Another course of this argument is that, opposite side
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that these type of significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
Possible spelling mistake found.
postss hould
be in the hand of more experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have years of experience of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they can handle situation more
effectively
and would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
decisions for society.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
conclude, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
reteirate
my opinion that in present
Possible spelling mistake found.
scanario
, it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the energetic youth take the nation forward by offering them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
posts in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
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IELTS essay nowadays more and more young people hold important positions in the government. some people think that it is a good thing while other argue that it is not suitable.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
304 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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