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Some people think governments should spend as much money as possible exploring outer space (for example, traveling to the Moon and to other planets). Other people disagree and think governments should spend this money for our basic needs on Earth. Which of these two opinions do you agree with?

Senior officials play an important role in making people satisfied with their lives. Some people believe that the government should spend the budget for exploring outer space but others think otherwise and believe providing basic needs for human life is more important rule of the state. I agree with the latter group because of two reasons, which I will explore below. First, in this day and age of high prices of goods and services, the government should help people of poor financial background. Policymakers by the limited budget, with good planning, can prepare job opportunities for people until they can reach the salary to make their ends meet, and the quality of life in the society is developing. If the government spends money to exploring outer space or other fields like that, the limited budget finishes so many countrymen will go to bed on an empty stomach and growing unemployment rate. Second, spending money on the basic needs of people is an economically wise decision, when basic needs of people prepare, people can think for finding the best way, by invented new things, to increase the quality of life. Therefore, the situation is prepared for the growth of the talents of intelligent people, and people are encouraged to develop their talents because they don’t worry about their basic needs. as a result, the government, by supporting the people's basic needs, can also prepare the way for the development of society. In conclusion, the state obligates to spend money for the basic needs of people. Not only can increase the job opportunity but also help to make efficient inventions to increase the quality of life.
Senior officials play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
satisfied with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should spend the budget for exploring outer
Use a comma before ‘but’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
space
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
otherwise
and believe providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
for human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
of the state. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter group
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two reasons, which I will explore below.

First
, in this day and age of high prices of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of poor financial background. Policymakers by the limited budget, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
planning, can prepare job opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
until they can reach the salary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
, and the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the society is developing. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
spends money to exploring outer space or other fields like that, the limited budget finishes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countrymen will go to bed on an empty stomach and growing unemployment rate.

Second, spending money on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is an
economically
wise decision, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prepare,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
for finding the best way, by invented new things, to increase the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Therefore
, the situation
is prepared
for the growth of the talents of intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are encouraged
to develop their talents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they don’t worry about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
as
a result, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, by supporting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
, can
also
prepare the way for the development of society.

In conclusion
, the state obligates to spend money for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can increase the job opportunity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
efficient inventions to increase the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay Some people think governments should spend as much money as possible exploring outer space (for example, traveling to the Moon and to other planets). Other people disagree and think governments should spend this money for our basic needs on Earth. Which of these two opinions do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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