Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think government should ban dangerous sports, such as skydiving and rock climbing. Do you agree or disagree?

Undoubtedly, we all are dwelling into modern epoch, which has witnessed a great changes in the majority of fields, especially in sports sector. Owing to this factCome on some proportion of society reckon that doing dangerous sports such as skydiving and rockclimbing should be banned by government. However, I would agree with the evidence that has put forward by proponents of viewpoint is convincing. To commence with, first and foremost, these sports are vulnerable to the injuries and deaths. In other words, a small mistake and put someone’s life in the risk. A person, do not know about skydiving and rock climbing, cannot do these types of sports. Only experienced and adroit professionals can do this types of sports. For instance, a recent survey held by ‘The Tribune’ has revealed that people doing skydiving and rockclimbing in the hilly area got several injuries because some of them doing it for first time so that is why they do not know about how to do it carefully. Apart from it, another reason they got a plethora of injuries is unfortunately, big in the wire by which some people got die at that time. Consequently it is so dangerous to these types of sports. Further more, now what is today’s generation like to do these types of activities which have untoward consequences. On the contrary side, firstly, some people play for country, not only at national level but also at international level. To be justified, they put their life in ways to get name and fame across the globe. Moreover, some people do these types of activities for money. For example, some people make a bank and put their life which can cause injuries and also lead them towards the death. In conclusion, as per my above discussion, I personally believe that the government should ban dangerous sports because these types of activities has a numerous of untoward consequences.
Undoubtedly
, we all are dwelling into modern epoch, which has witnessed a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the majority of fields,
especially
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
sector. Owing to this
Possible spelling mistake found.
factCome
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
proportion of society reckon that doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as skydiving and
Possible spelling mistake found.
rockclimbing
should
be banned
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
However
, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the evidence that has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
put
forward by proponents of viewpoint is convincing.

To commence with,
first
and foremost, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are vulnerable to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
and deaths.
In other words
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
mistake and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
put
someone’s life in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
. A person, do not know about skydiving and rock climbing, cannot do these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
experienced and adroit professionals can do this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
For instance
, a recent survey held by ‘The Tribune’ has revealed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
The usual collocation for an activity ending in “-ing” is “go”, not “do” or “play”.
doing skydiving
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
rockclimbing
in the hilly area
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them doing it for
first
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that is
why they do not know about how to do it
carefully
. Apart from it, another reason they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
is unfortunately,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
in the wire by which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
at that time.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
This adverb is normally spelled as one word.
Further more
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
what is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s generation like to do these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of activities which have untoward consequences.

On the contrary
side,
firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
play for country, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
at national level
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
at international level. To
be justified
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
put
their
Did you mean “lives”?
life
in ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
name and fame across the globe.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of activities for money.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a bank and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
put
their
Did you mean “lives”?
life
which can cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
and
also
lead them towards the death.

In conclusion
, as per my above discussion, I
personally
believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should ban
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of activities has a
Did you mean the noun “number”?
numerous
of untoward consequences.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think government should ban dangerous sports, such as skydiving and rock climbing.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts