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Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic what are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such as place.

Around the world are many dangerous and difficult places and also visitors are interested in visit this places. In my opinion, There are some advantages and disadvantages about this issue and I want to discuss about this topic. Due to increasing travel around the world, Visitors more and more want to visited of famous and amazing places, that have many benefits for local people. Such as improving chance of variety jobs for local people and also visitor with visiting unknown places that they can help to that area with becoming famous and also help to economy of city and country, With bringing money. For example, Visitors when stay at the area or city they need to hotel or places for resting. Therefore, shopping, buying souvenir and handcraft of that area, makes will be benefit for country and people. However visitors are benefit for people and country, They have make some disadvantages. Visitors when visit the unknown places cause destruction some famous area and they can will be harmful the historical building. on the other side, usually visitors carry on money, Jewellery, Camera and many objects expensive, that cause increasing many crime rate between people which this issue usually percent of these happens between criminals and visitors. In conclusion I believe that, tourists are very benefit and they cause will be progress a country and help to local people. On the other hand, visitor with carry on expensive objects, cause high crime rate, this matter is not at all good.
Around the world are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
are interested
in visit this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. In my opinion, There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages and disadvantages about this issue and I want to
Did you mean simply “discuss this”? You do not need the word “about” here.
discuss about this
topic.

Due to increasing travel around the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Visitors
more and more want to
The verb after “to” should be in the base form: “visit”.
visited
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and amazing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, that have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
for local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Such as improving chance of variety jobs for local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitor
with visiting unknown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
with becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to economy of city and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, With bringing money.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Visitors
when stay at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
or city they need to hotel or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for resting.
Therefore
, shopping, buying souvenir and handcraft of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, They have
The verb “make” seems to be incorrect here. Did you mean “made”, “been making” or “to make”?
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Visitors
when visit the unknown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
destruction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
area and
they can will be harmful the historical building.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
on
the other side,
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
carry on money,
Possible spelling mistake. ‘Jewellery’ is British English.
Jewellery
, Camera and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
objects expensive, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
increasing
Possible agreement error. The noun crime seems to be uncountable; consider using: “much crime”, “a good deal of crime”.
many crime
rate between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which this issue
usually
percent of these happens between criminals and visitors.

In
The comma is probably missing here: “conclusion, I”.
conclusion I
believe that, tourists are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
benefit and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
will be progress a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitor
with carry on expensive objects,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
high crime rate, this matter is not at all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
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IELTS essay Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic what are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such as place.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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