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Some people think giving longer prison sentence is the best way to prevent crime, while others believe there are more effective methods. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people think giving longer prison sentence is the best way to prevent crime, while others believe there are more effective methods. NM98q
Crime rates are increasingly greatly all over the world. It is often argued by certain groups that, this can be reduced by lifetime prison punishment, whilst others disagree and think that further better ways are helpful to solve this issue. This essay will discuss that how non-custodial sentences are productive techniques to fend off offences than putting criminals behind the bars. On the one hand, many believe that, wrongdoers should be punished for long time because this phenomenon will create fear among other criminals. To put in other words, if a person already knows the severity of punishment before committing any unsocial activity, he will think twice at least prior to do it. For example, in some countries the rapist and murderer usually get lifetime punishment or capital punishment, consequently, criminal will have discouragement before committing serious crime. Hence, strict punishment through prison sentence prevent crime. On the other hand, a section of the society claim that, other remedial measures such as non-custodial sentences including charging fines in minor cases as well as put offenders on probation can solve this issue effectively. In other words, in case of minor cases criminals should be penalized with heavy fines, moreover, during probation period, young offenders will be counseled and supervised by the official officers in corrective manners. Besides this, providing proper education and employment will also give a hand to wrongdoers to reintegrate back into society. I am inclined to believe that, punishment should be based on circumstantial crime particularly in serious offences, it should be longer as other people can take it as a lesson, and conversely, in some cases wrongdoer should have a chance to correct their self. In conclusion, many argued crime rate can be stopped by long time prison penalty, whilst other, claim that heavy fine and proper educations can solve this rising issue. According to me, with the help of corrective measures criminals can have a new start.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
rates are
increasingly
greatly
all over the world. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued by certain groups that, this can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by lifetime prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
, whilst others disagree and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
further
better ways are helpful to solve this issue. This essay will discuss that how non-custodial sentences are productive techniques to fend off
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
than putting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
behind the bars.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that, wrongdoers should
be punished
for long time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this phenomenon will create fear among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
. To put in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, if a person already knows the severity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
committing any unsocial activity, he will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice at least prior to do it.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries the rapist and murderer
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lifetime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
or capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
,
consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
will have discouragement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
committing serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Hence
, strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
through prison sentence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
crime.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, a section of the society claim that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
remedial measures such as non-custodial sentences including charging fines in minor cases
as well
as put offenders on probation can solve this issue
effectively
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, in case of minor cases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should
be penalized
with heavy fines,
moreover
, during probation period, young offenders will
be counseled
and supervised by the official officers in corrective manners.
Besides
this, providing proper education and employment will
also
give a hand to wrongdoers to reintegrate back into society.

I
am inclined
to believe that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
should
be based
on circumstantial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
particularly
in serious
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
, it should be longer as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can take it as a lesson, and
conversely
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "cases'" or "case's"?
cases
wrongdoer should have a chance to correct their self.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
argued
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
by long time prison penalty, whilst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, claim that heavy fine and proper educations can solve this rising issue.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of corrective measures
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
can have a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
.
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IELTS essay Some people think giving longer prison sentence is the best way to prevent crime, while others believe there are more effective methods.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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