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Some people think getting old is all bad, while others think the life of elderly people in modern world is better than that in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think getting old is all bad, while others think the life of elderly people in modern world is better than that in the past. d837
Becoming old has been a common phenomenon for every living species. Nowadays, some people explain that getting old age would be difficult crisis in their mind while, others believe that aged life would be an enjoyable life when considering past. Anyhow, in my point of view, life of elderly people become worse than before by the fact of single child, increasing number of divorce and industrialization. On the other hand, old age people are suffering detrimental effect in innovative world by physically, emotionally, and socially, thereby people are afraid to being old because retirement psychosis, fear of being isolated, livelihood instability and so on. In other words, elder people especially employers often think that they could not do anything after the service duration, lack of money for daily lives, separation anxiety and aged disease, so reason may pull them back to accept their geriatric period. For instance, escalating old age home represents, the problem inside each family and society after being old. On the one hand, elder people would be an asset of every family and society to seek advice from prolonged life experience, and care givers for the new generations. Family size inhibited than past years such as, single child agenda, distant job opportunities makes many family to be with their elderly parents to help their grand children, motivate their age over, most probably as a support and care giver. Although inflation would be a big problem, many people have a good job and salaries which would help aged parents to be in home and do some household works inside the house itself. Moreover, government have many programs for geriatric person in terms of pension, medical and travel allowance and so on. However, in my perspective, being old as an indispensable phenomenon so that accept the pro's an con's then behave as a good grant parents and supporters to the family and society would be a best for elder people.
Becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
has been a common phenomenon for every living species. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
that getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
would be difficult crisis in their mind while, others believe that aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
would be an enjoyable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
when considering past. Anyhow, in my point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of elderly
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people
become worse than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
by the fact of single child, increasing number of divorce and industrialization.

On the other hand
,
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old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are suffering detrimental effect in innovative world by
physically
,
emotionally
, and
socially
, thereby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are afraid to being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
retirement psychosis, fear of
being isolated
, livelihood instability and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
In other words
, elder
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people
especially
employers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they could not do anything after the service duration, lack of money for daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, separation anxiety and aged disease,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
reason may pull them back to accept their geriatric period.
For instance
, escalating
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old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
home represents, the problem inside each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and society after being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.

On the one hand, elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would be an asset of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and society to seek advice from prolonged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
experience, and care givers for the new generations.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
size
Use "(inhibited)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
inhibited
than past years such as, single child agenda, distant job opportunities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to be with their elderly parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their grand children, motivate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
over, most
probably
as a support and care giver. Although inflation would be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job and salaries which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
aged parents to be in home and do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
household works inside the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
itself.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
programs for geriatric person in terms of pension, medical and travel allowance and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

However
, in my perspective, being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
as an indispensable phenomenon
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that accept the pro's
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
con's then behave as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grant parents and supporters to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and society would be
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best for elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Some people think getting old is all bad, while others think the life of elderly people in modern world is better than that in the past.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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