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Some people think that physical strength is more important for success in a sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that physical strength is more important for success in a sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. BJaD5
Some of the human beings on the earth believe in physical strength is a major quality to succeed in a sport and remaining others go with the quality of mental strength. In this essay a discussion and viewpoint of both category people on the victory in sports. On one side, the people who had credence on muscular fitness results in a win. To evident the faith, some sports are indeed required power in the body cells to participate and lift the cup. For instance, running mainly depends on body fitness and practice. Many athletes are drawn down for the reason of a deficiency in the cells of their body. And also, physical fitness built the confidence to take a part in outdoor sports. On the other hand, the faith of some people stood upon the mental strength of a participant in sports. This point also gives a clear perception of each and every sport regardless of the place they play i. e, indoor or outdoor. For example, chess champions have fortitude in the mindset. To get a win the chess game the one should possess the hassles in a clever manner. The quality of reliability boosts up firmness to accomplish a milestone. In conclusion, the strength of a human should be balanced. A person with brimful physical fitness and lack of mental strength cannot climb to the first position in some category of sports like volleyball, basketball etc. Moreover, people with only high-level mind power had less success in the sports genre. To sum up, every sport has its own requirement to achieve first place in it.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
human beings on the earth believe in physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
is a major quality to succeed in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
and remaining others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
the quality of mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
. In this essay a discussion and viewpoint of both category
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on the victory in sports.

On one side, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who had credence on muscular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
results in a win. To evident the faith,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
indeed
required power in the body cells to participate and lift the cup.
For instance
, running
mainly
depends on body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
and practice.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
athletes
are drawn
down for the reason of a deficiency in the cells of their body. And
also
, physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
built the confidence to take a part in outdoor sports.

On the other hand
, the faith of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stood upon the mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
of a participant in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. This point
also
gives a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
perception of each and every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
regardless of the place they play i. e, indoor or outdoor.
For example
, chess champions have fortitude in the mindset. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a win the chess game the one should possess the hassles
Consider replacing "in a clever manner" with the adverb for "clever"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a clever manner
. The quality of reliability boosts up firmness to accomplish a milestone.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
of a human should
be balanced
. A person with brimful physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
and lack of mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
cannot climb to the
first
position in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
category of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
like volleyball, basketball etc.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
high-level mind power had less success in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
genre. To sum up, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
requirement to achieve
first
place in it.
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IELTS essay Some people think that physical strength is more important for success in a sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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