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Should teenagers concentrate on all school subject or on the subject they are best at discuss both the view and give your opinion

Should teenagers concentrate on all school subject or on the subject they are best at discuss both the view and give your opinion Aj3Ew
Nowadays studies are very important in our life first sight say that teenagers should concentrate on all school subject and second side say that teenagers should concentrate on the subject they are best further paragraph will be dedicated to the detail of this view and a balanced approach will also be discussed Focusing on the first view if teenagers should concentrate on all school subject and they improve basic knowledge moreover student get opportunity to select stream in different standard for example if a student in 10th standard and they constructed on all subject then that student get opportunity to choose different stream in 11th standard like a science commerce and arts streamOn the other hand if a student concentrate on only one subject then they more focus on that subject and they become master of that subject for instance if a student only interest in mathematics subject and they more attention on maths subject then they become master of mathematics subject in addition they also believe that if a student focus on only one subject then they have low stress rather than concentrate on all subject for example if a person concentrate only one subject then they have more time to understand to that subject and they have lost stress about that subjectTo conclude and give my opinion I clearly favour the first opinion students should concentrate on all subjects rather than focus on one subject because they have get opportunity to select different stream
Nowadays studies are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in our life
first
sight say that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concentrate
on all school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
and second side say that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concentrate
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
they are best
further
paragraph will
be dedicated
to the detail of this view and a balanced approach will
also
be discussed
Focusing on the
first
view if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concentrate
on all school
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
subject and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
basic knowledge
moreover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
opportunity to select stream in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
standard
for example
if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in 10th
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
standard and
they constructed on all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
then that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
opportunity to choose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stream in 11th standard like a science commerce and arts
Possible spelling mistake found.
streamOn
the other hand if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concentrate
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
then they more focus on that
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
subject and
they become master of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
for instance
if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
interest in mathematics
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
subject and
they more attention on
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
then they become master of mathematics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in addition
they
also
believe that if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
then they have low
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concentrate
on all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
for example
if a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concentrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
then they have more time to understand to that
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
subject and
they have lost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
about that
Possible spelling mistake found.
subjectTo
conclude and give my opinion I
clearly
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
the
first
opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concentrate
on all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
rather
than focus on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
opportunity to select
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stream

IELTS essay Should teenagers concentrate on all school subject or on the subject they are best at discuss both the view and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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