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some people think dangerous games like sky diving and skiing should be banned. Give your opinion on this.

some people think dangerous games like sky diving and skiing should be banned. Give your opinion on this. 8Qk0r
It is stated that serious sport activities are dangerous today and they should be stopped immedietly. However while i believe there is no huge impact when extreme sports are banned it is not mandatory and i disagree since sports differ from people and according to body types and strengthens. In my opinion, there are different types of human beings and some are sporty and into a dark side when it comes tp games and if these are banned they have no way of building their interpersonal skills and to improve the mental stress. People enjoy life and fulfil there dreams by participating in these careful games and a majority of young crowd build a socilaized platform and update their day to day life by engaging in these activities. Secondly not all human beings are made to live and stay indoors likewise they tend to spend muvh time outdoors and enjoy the time with loved once eventhough how risky your life could be hence still would be satisfied and a challanging life would be implemented for different human beings as we live in the 21st of century. However, while i believe, that seacing dangerous games would be an added benefit to kids and younger generation that they could spend more time on their education it does not appear a huge impact since both should be comparatively stable. There is no harm to have a good time engaging in skydiving and skiing but an age limit in all countries should be granted so that there is no such worrying for parents as well. Eventhough these are life time opportunities companies should be more reliable when they sort dangereous activities to public. To conclude, with age limits and to fulfil dreams of younger hearts and to increase to social platforms these activities should be continued and priority should be given to safety and comfort of the innocent human fellows.
It
is stated
that serious sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
today and
they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
Possible spelling mistake found.
immedietly
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
while
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe there is no huge impact when extreme sports
are banned
it is not mandatory and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
disagree since sports differ from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and according to body types and strengthens.

In my opinion, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are sporty and into a dark side when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
Possible spelling mistake found.
tp
games and if these
are banned
they have no way of building their interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and fulfil there dreams by participating in these careful games and a majority of young crowd build a
Possible spelling mistake found.
socilaized
platform and update their
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by engaging in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
Secondly
not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings
are made
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and stay indoors
likewise
they tend to spend
Possible spelling mistake found.
muvh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
outdoors and enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
once
Possible spelling mistake found.
eventhough
how risky your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
could be
hence
still
would
be satisfied
and a
Possible spelling mistake found.
challanging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
would
be implemented
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings as we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the 21st of century.

However
, while
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe, that
Possible spelling mistake found.
seacing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
games would be an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
benefit to kids and younger generation that they could spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on their education it does not appear a huge impact since both should be
comparatively
stable. There is no harm to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
engaging in skydiving and skiing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
an age limit in all countries should
be granted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that there is no such worrying for parents
as well
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eventhough
these are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
opportunities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should be more reliable when they sort
Possible spelling mistake found.
dangereous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
to public.
To conclude
, with age limits and to fulfil dreams of younger hearts and to increase to social platforms these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
should
be continued
and priority should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to safety and comfort of the innocent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
fellows.
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IELTS essay some people think dangerous games like sky diving and skiing should be banned. Give your opinion on this.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
316 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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