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some people think conflicts between parents and young adults during teenage are necessary while some people think the conflicts are not necessary. Discuss both views and give your opinion

some people think conflicts between parents and young adults during teenage are necessary while some people think the conflicts are not necessary. Discuss both views and give your opinion bYNQ6
When it comes to the relationship between parents and teenagers, there is a debate on whether or not conflicts are necessary. While some people argue that those conflicts are part of the education process, others believe conflicts between parents and sons could be avoided. This essay discusses both sides and explains why I support the former opinion. On the one hand, there are those who believe that conflicts are necessary because it is part of the upbringing. According to those people, those conflicts teach teenagers how to handle different opinions. This is because young adults are prone to think that they are right all the time, however, this is not the case, and the best people to convince them about their mistakes is their parents. In addition, conflicts are valuable to prepare young adults for life. To illustrate, recent research conducted by the University of California showed that ninety per cent of adults believe that their parents' corrections were vital to their success. On the other hand, some experts believe that those conflicts should be avoided because it is harmful to parents and teens. They argue that conflicts create a worse relationship in family ties. In other words, they believe that conflicts are a threat to the well-being of a family. Furthermore, it is argued that if the idea is to teach young adults about something, there are better ways to achieve this goal. For example, an open discussion between family is much more useful than a conflict. In conclusion, I believe both arguments have their merits. On balance, however, I feel that differences between teens and parents are valid. This is because I think some problems are not solved without a conflict and, therefore, it is needed.
When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, there is a debate on
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflicts
are necessary. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflicts
are part of the education process, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflicts
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and sons could
be avoided
. This essay discusses both sides and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
why I support the former opinion.

On the one hand, there are those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflicts
are necessary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is part of the upbringing. According to those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflicts
teach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
how to handle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
are prone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they are right all the time,
however
, this is not the case, and the best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to convince them about their mistakes is their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflicts
are valuable to prepare young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
for life. To illustrate, recent research conducted by the University of California
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that ninety per cent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "believes"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'believe' is not always incorrect.)
believe
that their parents' corrections were vital to their success.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflicts
should
be avoided
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is harmful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teens. They argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflicts
create a worse relationship in family ties.
In other words
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflicts
are a threat to the well-being of a family.
Furthermore
, it
is argued
that if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is to teach young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
about something, there are better ways to achieve this goal.
For example
, an open discussion between family is much more useful than a conflict.

In conclusion
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
both arguments have their merits. On balance,
however
, I feel that differences between teens and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are valid. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems are not solved without a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflict
and,
therefore
, it
is needed
.
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IELTS essay some people think conflicts between parents and young adults during teenage are necessary while some people think the conflicts are not necessary. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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