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Some Children buy large amounts of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the same?

Some Children buy large amounts of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the same? 2b9xA
It is a common belief that children love to play with playthings, and some tend to have plenty of toys more than they require. The principal advantage of this is that with toys, youngsters have a better chance to increase the level of creativity which would originate within their own imagination. It is not the number of toys that really matters, this is the perception the elders provide. This essay will discuss some of the distinct advantages as well as some obvious drawbacks. Firstly, educational institutes design study programs adhering to psychological concepts that are dedicated to improving the quality of how a child would think. One good example of this is the use of toys in play environments. For instance, there is a large number of toys with different sizes, shapes and colours that are given to the kindergarten toddler during their activities. The scientific reason behind this would be that it improves problem-solving and quick learning skills furthermore raising their brain capacity for better brain growth and functionality moreover causing parents to buy more toys. Secondly, children might be distracted or stubborn when their parents buy an unnecessarily large number of toys for their children. To illustrate this, there have been many occasions at schools where fights were reported over toys. The major cause for this could be that they are not taught to share with others making them stubborn. In addition, the sense of ownership is also another important skill that needs development in such a scenario. Some teenagers might be distracted all the time when it comes to studying periods which namely is a good example of how it can affect negatively. To conclude, there can be a plethora of reasons why a child should have more toys while compared to its disadvantages. It will be the responsibility of their parents to teach their children the morals qualities of sharing with each other which eventually making them live a better social and ethical life in their future.
It is a common belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to play with playthings, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tend to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
more than they require. The principal advantage of this is that with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
, youngsters have a better chance to increase the level of creativity which would originate within their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
imagination. It is not the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
that
really
matters, this is the perception the elders provide. This essay will discuss
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
distinct advantages
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
obvious drawbacks.

Firstly
, educational institutes design study programs adhering to psychological concepts that
are dedicated
to improving the quality of how a child would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of this is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
in play environments.
For instance
, there is
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sizes, shapes and
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the kindergarten toddler during their activities. The scientific reason behind this would be that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
problem-solving and quick learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
furthermore
raising their brain capacity for better brain growth and functionality
moreover
causing parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more toys.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might
be distracted
or stubborn when their parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
an
unnecessarily
large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. To illustrate this, there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
occasions at schools where fights
were reported
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
. The major cause for this could be that they are not taught to share with others making them stubborn.
In addition
, the sense of ownership is
also
another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
that needs development in such a scenario.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
might
be distracted
all the time when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to studying periods which
namely
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of how it can affect
negatively
.

To conclude
, there can be a plethora of reasons why a child should have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
while compared to its disadvantages. It will be the responsibility of their parents to teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the morals qualities of sharing with each other which
eventually
making them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a better social and ethical life in their future.
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IELTS essay Some Children buy large amounts of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the same?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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