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Some people think children should obey the rules their parents and teachers set and listen to them, but others think less control will help children to deal with their future adult life. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think children should obey the rules their parents and teachers set and listen to them, but others think less control will help children to deal with their future adult life. v. 1
People hold different views about whether there should be more or less control over children. While there are some strong arguments against the setting of children’s strict controls, I believe that children need the higher standards of discipline. There are several reasons why people might argue that children should not be controlled strictly. Firstly, children will have confidence in themselves in the future if they do not have to reluctantly obey certain kinds of rules. For example, giving freedom from too many strict regulations at school assists them to take an active involvement in lessons. Secondly, not having to follow orders helps them to have much success in their higher education. More importantly, it is beneficial for them to develop an independent study habit which prepares them to work autonomously. However, I would agree with those who believe that it is significant to sufficiently regulate those children who are concerned. The main reason for this view is that having such kinds of ground rules teaches youngsters to feel a strong sense of responsibility towards their future life. For instance, they always tend to do something to improve their lifelong experience instead of wasting their valuable time. Another factor for this opinion is that carefully regulated children will probably make a success in their workplaces such as career progression and job prospects in their later life. In conclusion, although there are clear arguments against supervising children amply, I am of the opinion that complying with significant rules is a necessary burden.
People
hold
different
views about whether there should be more or less control over
children
. While there are
some
strong arguments against the setting of
children’s
strict controls, I believe that
children
need the higher standards of discipline.

There are several reasons why
people
might argue that
children
should not
be controlled
strictly
.
Firstly
,
children
will have confidence in themselves in the future if they do not
have to
reluctantly
obey certain kinds of
rules
.
For example
, giving freedom from too
many
strict regulations at school assists them to take an active involvement in lessons.
Secondly
, not having to follow orders
helps
them to have much success in their higher education. More
importantly
, it is beneficial for them to develop an independent study habit which prepares them to work
autonomously
.

However
, I would
agree
with those who believe that it is significant to
sufficiently
regulate those
children
who
are concerned
. The main reason for this view is that having such kinds of ground
rules
teaches youngsters to feel a strong sense of responsibility towards their future life.
For instance
, they always tend to do something to
improve
their lifelong experience
instead
of wasting their valuable time. Another factor for this opinion is that
carefully
regulated
children
will
probably
make
a success in their workplaces such as career progression and job prospects in their later life.

In conclusion
, although there are
clear
arguments against supervising
children
amply
, I am of the opinion that complying with significant
rules
is a necessary burden.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think children should obey the rules their parents and teachers set and listen to them, but others think less control will help children to deal with their future adult life. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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