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Some people think children should have the freedom to make mistakes

Some people think children should have the freedom to make mistakes 9aNkr
Some are of the opinion that children should be allowed to make mistakes, while others feel that adults should take a preventative approach. In my opinion, there are limits but it is nonetheless essential for healthy development to permit children their errors. Proponents of reduced freedom for children argue that mistakes can lead to a pattern of misbehavior. This argument is often advanced by over-protective parents who believe human nature naturally trends toward anti-social activity. For example, a child who is mean to classmates and performs poorly in academics and athletics will only continue this behavior if enabled by understanding adults. To counter the child’s wayward impulses, parents should instead either punish or reward in order to motivate more socially acceptable behavior. The theory is that children will then recognize the boundaries set by parents and society and later fit into the adult world as well-functioning members. egardless, a sense of autonomy is crucial to mature development. Children who are shielded from making mistakes often lack the skills that encourage healthy growth. The majority of learning, for instance, is achieved through mistakes. A child who is learning a sport makes mistake after mistake but does it with a positive attitude and eventually improves. Later in life, the attitude may become more negative but the process remains the same for all disciplines, private and public. Parents and other adults must therefore seek to impart unconditional support and ensure children do not develop self-esteem problems based on their mistakes. This approach of fostering a cheerful self-sufficiency will serve them best throughout life. In conclusion, although some adults may feel that are preventing children from making mistakes for the public good, they are in fact doing great harm to their child’s mental well-being. If larger segments of society accept this perspective, it will benefit all of society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
, while others feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
should take a preventative approach. In my opinion, there are limits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is nonetheless essential for healthy development to permit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
their errors.

Proponents of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
freedom for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
can lead to a pattern of misbehavior. This argument is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
advanced by over-protective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe human nature
naturally
trends toward anti-social activity.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is mean to classmates and performs
poorly
in academics and athletics will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
continue this behavior if enabled by understanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
. To counter the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
wayward impulses,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
instead
either punish or reward in order to motivate more
socially
acceptable behavior. The theory is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will then recognize the boundaries set by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and society and later fit into the adult world
as well
-functioning members.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
egardless
, a sense of autonomy is crucial to mature development.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are shielded
from making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
lack the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that encourage healthy growth. The majority of learning,
for instance
,
is achieved
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is learning a sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistake
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistake
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
does it with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitude and
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
. Later in life, the attitude may become more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the process remains the same for all disciplines, private and public.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
therefore
seek to impart unconditional support and ensure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not develop self-esteem problems based on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
. This approach of fostering a cheerful self-sufficiency will serve them best throughout life.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
may feel that are preventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
for the public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, they are in fact doing great harm to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
mental well-being. If larger segments of society accept this perspective, it will benefit
Consider using "all society" or "all of the society".
all of society
.

IELTS essay Some people think children should have the freedom to make mistakes

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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