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Now a days Deforestation main issue what is your view?

Now a days Deforestation main issue what is your view? VE2JQ
Deforestation means the removal of cropland, tress, and grazing using timber for fuel, construction, or manufacturing. Forest covers more than 30% of the planet's land surface. Usually, the forest can provide food, medicine, and fuel to more than a billion people. Worldwide, forests provide some people with a job in the forest sector. Furthermore, the entire nature cycle is based on the forest. In recently national geographic channel conducted a survey. Why reasons for deforestation? , Today very populated in the world, and also a high demand for urbanization such as people move rural areas to urban areas automatically demand land so forest land convert into commercial, industries, and ventures. Another reason forest is a valuable resource and property therein forest that’s some corporate sector destroyed the soil land and water, tress and also kill the animals. One of the most dangerous destroyed forests for loss of animal and plant species. In addition increased Greenhouse gases, soil erosion, and flooding, and the forest also balancing the water levels of the sea for instance rainfall and rivers are depending on the forest.
Deforestation means the removal of cropland, tress, and grazing using timber for fuel, construction, or manufacturing.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Forest
covers more than 30% of the planet's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
surface.
Usually
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forest
can provide food, medicine, and fuel to more than a billion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Worldwide,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forests
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with a job in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forest
sector.
Furthermore
, the entire nature cycle
is based
on the forest.

In recently national geographic channel conducted a survey. Why reasons for deforestation?
Loose punctuation mark.
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
populated in the world, and
also
a high demand for urbanization such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
rural areas to urban areas
automatically
demand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
convert into commercial, industries, and ventures. Another reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forest
is a valuable resource and property therein
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forest
that’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
corporate sector
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
the soil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
and water, tress and
also
kill the animals.

One of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forests
for loss of animal and plant species. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
increased Greenhouse gases, soil erosion, and flooding, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forest
also
balancing the water levels of the sea
for instance
rainfall and rivers
The verb 'depending' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are depending
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forest
.

IELTS essay Now a days Deforestation main issue what is your view?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
181 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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