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some people think at school teachers should use films, computers, internet instead of boring books . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people think at school teachers should use films, computers, internet instead of boring books. Pk6Xd
It is sometimes argued that instead of using dull textbooks schools ought to use films, internet and computers for instructing young pupil. I completely agree this statement and I will give my own opinion First of all, books are old-fashioned since it has been using for many centuries. For example, many centuries ago the first books began to be used. However, we are living in the 21st century and it is high time to use internet and computers. Furthermore, information can be taken from the internet much more than books. Because we know many types of information sources are exist in internet such as useful website, dictionaries, online classes and tests. That's why I believe that internet and television could be easier to understand for pupils. To conclude, books have been serving us for many years, but I think it would be better if we use internet, television and computers instead.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
argued that
instead
of using dull textbooks schools ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
films, internet and computers for instructing young pupil. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
this statement and I will give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned since it has been using for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
centuries.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
centuries ago the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
began to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
However
, we are living in the 21st century and it is high time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
internet and computers.
Furthermore
, information can
be taken
from the internet much more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
we know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of information sources are
Consider using a past participle here: "existed".
exist
in internet such as useful website, dictionaries, online classes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
. That's why I believe that internet and television could be easier to understand for pupils.
To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
have been serving us for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it would be better if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
internet, television and computers
instead
.
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IELTS essay some people think at school teachers should use films, computers, internet instead of boring books.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
151 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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