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some people think about sex distinction

some people think about sex distinction 2RRkX
Since the dawn of time there were various types of educations. The main reason of that the education was under control of religion and mostly mosques, churches have given education/ Sex distinction in education stem from that fact. Today probably except some muslim countries nowhere you cannot find that types of schools. To justify my point of view on sex distinction in schools is disapprove, boys and girls should study together. Beforehand, today in the world you can see single sex schools mostly in muslim countries which are administrating with religion rules. And it is not acceptable for non uslim people who lives in that countries. For example, if any non muslim person lives in that countries. he will be obligated to send his child to single sex school. In additional to I think that keeping away boys from girls starting from school is embryo of sex distinction. For example I think if boys and girls study separately in school they will work also separately. In conclusion I think before sending their children single sex schools parents should keep religion traditions away and decide attentively
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
the dawn of time there were various types of educations. The main reason of that the education was under control of religion and
mostly
mosques, churches have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
education/
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sex
distinction in education stem from that fact.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
probably
except
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
muslim
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
nowhere you cannot find that types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. To justify my point of view on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
distinction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is
Consider using a past participle here: "disapproved".
disapprove
, boys and girls should study together. Beforehand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
in the world you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
mostly
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
muslim
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which are administrating with religion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. And it is not acceptable for non
Possible spelling mistake found.
uslim
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
Did you mean "live"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
lives
in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For example
, if any non
Possible spelling mistake found.
muslim
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in that
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countries
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
he
will
be obligated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
his child to single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. In additional to I
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think
that keeping away boys from girls starting from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is embryo of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
distinction. For
The comma is probably missing here: "example, I".
example I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
if boys and girls study
separately
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
they will work
also
separately
. In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, I".
conclusion I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
sending their children single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
religion traditions away and decide
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
attentively
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IELTS essay some people think about sex distinction

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
184 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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