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ndeed, clothes become important in life

ndeed, clothes become important in life jVVaa
Indeed, clothes become important in life. Some people believe that person's clothes will tell about their culture and personality. While I accept that people wear polite clothes will make people see you with a distinct look, I believe that clothes do not tell all good character inside of you. On the one hand, people choose colorful clothes for them to become inevitable. Firstly, If you wear expensive clothes, you will be welcome everywhere. For example, people wearing outfit from Louis Vuitton, Hermes, . . . brand and you go on luxury hotel or restaurant, they will see people concentrate on they, you become a striking person. Therefore, you need to pay attention in clothes if you go outside and do not wear torn clothes. Secondly, clothes will be descibe your body or outer beauty. In 21th century, some people think that the beauty inside no more importent than outer beauty. If the boy see you wear fabulous clothes, they always gaze and come to you to start a conversation, but if the girl wear torn clothes they will see you the difference eyes. They do that because they think you is rich person. On the other hand, I believe that clothes will not tell about your personality in new life. Firtly, people wear casual clothes, nevertheless, they are not poor person. They wear that because it become their hobby and people do not want to use too much money buy expensive clothes. For example, nowaday, the chairman of famouse company who wear usual clothes to go work and the employee will disregard of him but they talk one sentence that " Clothes not talk about the character inside". Secondly, because of distinction between rich and poor, the gorverment was obligatory that student want to come school must to wear uniform. I think they want student wear same clothes, not expensive clothes or not have clothes to wear. As a result, student not to think about the distinction from them and they become friendly with each others. In conclusion, magnificent clothes will bring for you many advantages but they will not tell about you are the good person. So that you do not think you are the rich person if you wear expensive clothes and people have good personality is a rich person.
Indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tell
about their culture and personality. While I accept that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
polite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
you with a distinct look, I believe that clothes do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tell
all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
character
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "inside".
inside of
you.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose colorful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
for them to become inevitable.
Firstly
, If you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
, you will be welcome everywhere.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
wearing outfit from Louis Vuitton, Hermes
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
brand
and you go on luxury hotel or restaurant, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
concentrate on they, you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a striking person.
Therefore
, you need to pay attention in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
if you go outside and do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
torn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
will be
Possible spelling mistake found.
descibe
your body or outer beauty. In
Please check the suffix, if this is an ordinal number.
21th
century,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that the beauty inside no more
Possible spelling mistake found.
importent
than outer beauty. If the boy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
fabulous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
, they always gaze and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a conversation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if the girl
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
torn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
you the difference eyes. They do that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
you is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
person.

On the other hand
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tell
about your personality in new life.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Firtly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
casual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
,
nevertheless
, they are not poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
Did you mean "becomes"?
become
their hobby and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
too much money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
nowaday
, the chairman of
Possible spelling mistake found.
famouse
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
usual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
to go work and the employee will disregard of him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they talk one sentence that
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Clothes
not talk about the character inside
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of distinction between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and poor, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
gorverment
was obligatory that student want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
school
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
uniform. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
they want student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
, not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
or not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
.
As a result
, student not to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
about the distinction from
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
friendly with each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
.

In conclusion
, magnificent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
will bring for you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tell
about you are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that you do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
you are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
if you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
personality is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
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IELTS essay ndeed, clothes become important in life

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
376 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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