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Some people thing studying abroad is better than in home country. Discuss both the view and give your opinion.

Some people thing studying abroad is better than in home country. 7LWGY
Nowadays, studying abroad is one of the goals for the most people for gaining knowledge and to understand the world whereas other says that studying in own country is good choice. There are some reasons for studying abroad rather than in study in home country. In the upcoming paragraphs it explained the both views with my opinion. To begin with, to achieve better knowledge most of the people are migrating to the other countries due to some reason. First and foremost, most of the abroad countries are providing good facilities to their students in education and other leisure activities. To explain this, in education field they are providing advance equipments to their students to study and do experiments in it and they support to take part in some leisure activities such as sports, swimming, and many more. Moreover, some people are migrating to other countries to study and understand their culture. To gain knowledge of their god and history which spread the brotherhood towards humanity. However, study in a own country is more advantageous rather then abroad. Firstly, communities are providing better packages to their citizens in education field. To explain this, government gives free education to students which are studying in government school and end of period it give a scholarship. Secondly, studying in own country is one most advantageous in form of family support for their student. For instance, to built the career of student most of the family provide support which gives better future lifestyle. To conclude with my opinion, both the view have their own significant to study abroad as well as home country but I personally believe that studying in other countries gives a good experience to understand the knowledge and their culture and religion.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
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abroad
is one of the goals for the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and to understand the world whereas
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other
says that
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studying
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
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country
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
choice. There are
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some
reasons for
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studying
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abroad
rather
than in
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study
in home
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country
. In the upcoming paragraphs it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
the both views with my opinion.

To
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begin
with, to achieve better
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knowledge
most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are migrating to the
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other
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countries
due to
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some
reason.
First
and foremost, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are providing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
facilities to their
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students
in
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education
and
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other
leisure activities. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this, in
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education
field they are providing advance equipments to their
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students
to
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study
and do experiments in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
they support to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
leisure activities such as sports, swimming, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
Moreover
,
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some
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people
are migrating to
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other
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countries
to
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study
and understand their culture. To gain
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knowledge
of their god and history which spread the brotherhood towards humanity.

However
,
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study
in
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
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country
is more advantageous
rather
Did you mean "than"? 'than' is used for comparisons, 'then' is an expression of time.
then
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abroad
.
Firstly
, communities are providing better packages to their citizens in
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education
field. To
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explain
this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
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gives
free
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education
to
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students
which are
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studying
in
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government
school and
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end
of period it
Did you mean "gives"?
give
a scholarship.
Secondly
,
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studying
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
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country
is one most advantageous in form of family support for their
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student
.
For instance
,
Did you mean "to build"?
to built
the career of
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student
most of the family provide support which
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gives
better future lifestyle.

To conclude
with my opinion, both the view have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
significant to
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study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
home
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country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
personally
believe that
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studying
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
experience to understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and their culture and religion.
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IELTS essay Some people thing studying abroad is better than in home country.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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