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Some people say that the internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to so much information creates problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people say that the internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to so much information creates problems. v. 2
It seems that the internet has become an indispensable part of today’s modern world. There are, however, different perspectives on this twenty-first-century miracle. While some people hold that it is an invaluable source of intelligence, there is an opposing belief that greater problems may arise from so much data available. To begin with, some people reasonably argue that we would not have progressed so remarkable if it hadn’t been for the rapid spread of instruction thanks to the internet. The main reason they give is that the internet has made it easy and fast to store and transfer word worldwide. An example that springs readily to mind is the numerous archives online that supply information on almost every area of knowledge. Supporters also make a compelling case by adding that free access to data in the new era has enabled us to interact with each other more closely and directly. On the other hand, there is the view that the abundance of data available on the net can cause harm to people everywhere. The advocates of this viewpoint simplistically claim that sensitive material in the wrong hands can result in disaster. For example, the mine of tip provided by search engines can be used by terrorists or villains to harm others. What they entirely overlook is the fact that only those who intentionally use this clue for evil purposes should be held responsible for everything. After all, for such people as criminals and lawbreakers, the ends justify the means, and thus, they will ultimately seek the tip they need elsewhere. To sum up, although some people lose sight of the fact that the internet, like any other achievement in the technological world, is a double-edged sword, and ignore that access to report can have positive outcomes as well, a more optimistic and open-minded view fairly concludes that putting the internet to wrong use does not necessarily outweigh its potential advantages. One cannot help but notice that the message accessible on the internet nowadays is of great value for our modern life.
It seems that the internet has become an indispensable part of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s modern world. There are,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspectives on this twenty-
first
-century miracle. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold that it is an invaluable source of intelligence, there is an opposing belief that greater problems may arise from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much data available.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reasonably
argue that we would not have progressed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
remarkable if it hadn’t been for the rapid spread of instruction thanks to the internet. The main reason they give is that the internet has made it easy and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
to store and transfer word worldwide. An example that springs
readily
to mind is the numerous archives online that supply information on almost every area of knowledge. Supporters
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a compelling case by adding that free access to data in the new era has enabled us to interact with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
more
closely
and
directly
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there is the view that the abundance of data available on the net can cause harm to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
everywhere. The advocates of this viewpoint
simplistically
claim that sensitive material in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
hands can result in disaster.
For example
, the mine of tip provided by search engines can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by terrorists or villains to harm others. What they
entirely
overlook is the fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
those who
intentionally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this clue for evil purposes should
be held
responsible for everything.
After all
, for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as criminals and lawbreakers, the ends justify the means, and
thus
, they will
ultimately
seek the tip they need elsewhere.

To sum up, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lose sight of the fact that the internet, like any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
achievement in the technological world, is a double-edged sword, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
that access to report can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes
as well
, a more optimistic and open-minded view
fairly
concludes that putting the internet to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
does not
necessarily
outweigh its potential advantages. One cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
notice that the message accessible on the internet nowadays is of great value for our modern life.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Some people say that the internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to so much information creates problems. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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