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Some people tend to take temporary jobs, for they have time for other things Do the advantage outweigh disadvantages

Some people tend to take temporary jobs, for they have time for other things Do the advantage outweigh disadvantages 90MX
In this modern, doing part-time jobs are becoming more popular. Some people think that if they do temporary work rather than a full-time job, they have more time for other things. This essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of the argument and why it is more beneficial, all the explanations described in the following paragraphs. There are two primary benefits of doing a short time job, which is more advantageous than full day work. Firstly, people have more time to do other things than full-day tasks. So they have more time to spend with their family and follow their dreams. Secondly, doing part-time duties gives them satisfaction and improves health. If people do less work, they follow their passions in their later lives. And it gives them more peace in life. For example, most successful persons have been spending most of following their dreams rather than doing jobs, which is one of the main reasons why they earn success in their lives. In short, there are plenty of benefits receive, while having more time for other works. These types of advantages will get from temporary jobs. There are several challenges people will face when people do not do full jobs. Some people did not earn more salaries; because this type of work does not require any things like presentation, drawings, and planning. Moreover, many people face a financial problems like bankruptcy. Otherwise, they find many obstacles in paying their bills when they did not earn more money than their expenses. For example, nearly 30% of people who did temporary labor work then found as bankrupt people. Therefore, These findings prove that if people do not spend more time at work, it creates more challenges. To Conclude, this essay discussed both the advantages and disadvantages of the statement. In my words, taking part-time or temporary jobs to save time for other valuable things is more beneficial than the drawbacks.
In this modern,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are becoming more popular.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if they do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
rather
than a full-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, they have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things. This essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of the argument and why it is more beneficial, all the explanations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
in the following paragraphs.

There are two primary benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
a short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, which is more advantageous than full day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Firstly
,
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people
have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things than full-day tasks.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend with their family and follow their dreams.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
part-time duties gives them satisfaction and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
health. If
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people
do less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, they follow their passions in their later
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. And it gives them more peace in life.
For example
, most successful persons have been spending
Consider using "most following" or "most of the following".
most of following
their dreams
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, which is one of the main reasons why they earn success in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In short, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of benefits receive, while having more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
works. These types of advantages will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temporary
jobs.

There are several challenges
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people
will face when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not do full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
did not earn more salaries;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
does not require any things like presentation, drawings, and planning.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face a financial
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "problem"?
problems
like bankruptcy.
Otherwise
, they find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
obstacles in paying their bills when they did not earn more money than their expenses.
For example
,
nearly
30% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who did
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temporary
labor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
then found as bankrupt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
, These findings prove that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, it creates more challenges.

To Conclude
, this essay discussed both the advantages and disadvantages of the statement. In my words, taking part-time or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
valuable things is more beneficial than the drawbacks.
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IELTS essay Some people tend to take temporary jobs, for they have time for other things Do the advantage outweigh disadvantages

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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