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some people suppest extending prison sentences to prisoners, others insist that alternative methods will be more effective

some people suppest extending prison sentences to prisoners, others insist that alternative methods will be more effective 6xbAW
In modern age the world is suffered from an increase in crime in many countries. Citizens want offenders rough punishments, some people suppest extending prison sentences to prisoners, others insist that alternative methods will be more effective like providing offenders with education and training is more effective than putting them in prison. On the one hand, putting offenders in prison it is a poor way to prevent subsequent crimes. When many criminals sit in jail who caused serious harm to others such as s abduction, actual bodily harm, drug dealing and others. They are separated from society, this condition helps to higher the chances of safety. No one will ever to experience jail time because of this people will analyze their actions and will not commit a crime again. Thus, prison is a useful are separated from society this condition helps to higher the chance of way of self-analysis and preventing the same mistakes from being repeated due to the conditions in the prison. On the other hand, re-education on account of offenders with education and training helps to become more educated. However, the criminal has the potential to become a valued member of society for example, today is already practiced to work in prisons or other places they dig miner of work as loaders. In conclusion, teaching prisoner is a win for all, what is more the state will be more profitable if the worker force increases and the amount of crime decreases. In general, we can conclude that not all people can be retrained, but if they can they can benefit the country. I believe that alternative methods significantly effective than putting offenders in prison.
In modern age the world
is suffered
from an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. Citizens want
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
rough punishments,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
suppest
extending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
sentences to prisoners, others insist that alternative methods will be more effective like providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
with education and training is more effective than putting them in prison.

On the one hand, putting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
it is a poor way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
subsequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. When
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
criminals sit in jail who caused serious harm to others such as s abduction, actual
bodily
harm, drug dealing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
. They
are separated
from society, this condition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to higher the chances of safety. No one will ever to experience jail time
because of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will analyze their actions and will not commit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
again.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
is a useful
are separated
from society this condition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to higher the chance of way of self-analysis and preventing the same mistakes from
being repeated
due to the conditions in the prison.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, re-education on account of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
with education and training
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to become more educated.
However
, the criminal has the potential to become a valued member of society
for example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is already
The verb 'practiced' is used with the gerund form: "practiced working".
practiced to work
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
places they dig miner of work as loaders.
In conclusion
, teaching prisoner is a win for all,
what is more
the state will be more profitable if the worker force increases and the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
decreases.

In general
, we can conclude that not all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
be retrained
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "they can".
they can they can
benefit the country. I believe that alternative methods
significantly
Use "(effective)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
effective
than putting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
.

IELTS essay some people suppest extending prison sentences to prisoners, others insist that alternative methods will be more effective

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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