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Some people suggest that social networking and online communication have increased social isolation. In what ways do you think this has happened? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people suggest that social networking and online communication have increased social isolation. In what ways do you think this has happened? yk8l
In recent years the use of social networking has grown beyond recognition bringing a new set of concerns with it. Most young people now text regularly, and are familiar with a variety of other platforms used for communication such as FaceTime and instant messaging. It has never been easier to keep in touch with family and friends wherever they are in the world. Despite this, however, there is evidence that social isolation is rising and not decreasing. I therefore agree that rather than helping people communicate technology has actually weakened social bonds. I will attempt to outline some key reasons for this. Firstly and most obviously if people are using tablets, phones or other devices they are focused on the technology rather than what is happening around them. While this might help us keep in touch with people who are far away from us (for example those travelling), often it means that the user forgets those in their vicinity. For example, it is now common to see people in restaurants and cafes all looking at their phones instead of speaking to each other. Secondly, although using social networks might seem a good solution for someone who is shy or worried about meeting others, ironically it is more likely to keep them at home. In fact if people didn't have that option they would have to go out and meet real friends, which is a much healthier way to deal with being lonely. There are reports of people who rarely leave their houses because they are addicted to an 'online existence’ and young people who become aggressive when their parents tell them to come offline. Finally, even if people do meet online friends, these friendships are often not really what they seem. Unfortunately there have been several reports of people being harmed by someone they believed was a friend. This is because the internet allows us to disguise who we really are. As honesty is key to a good relationship clearly this is not a good basis to meet friends. In conclusion, I would argue that while the Internet can help with quick and convenient communication for business or travel, or when people live in distant places, for a number of reasons it has not increased social cohesion overall.
In recent years the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking has grown beyond recognition bringing a new set of concerns with it. Most young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
text
regularly
, and are familiar with a variety of other platforms
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for communication such as FaceTime and instant messaging. It has never been easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with family and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
wherever they are in the world. Despite this,
however
, there is evidence that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
isolation is rising and not decreasing. I
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
rather
than helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
communicate technology has actually weakened
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
bonds. I will attempt to outline
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
key reasons for this.

Firstly
and most
obviously
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using tablets, phones or other devices they
are focused
on the technology
rather
than what is happening around them. While this might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are far away from us (
for example
those travelling),
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
it means that the user forgets those in their vicinity.
For example
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
common to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in restaurants and
'cafes' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cafés"
cafes
all looking at their phones
instead
of speaking to each other.

Secondly
, although using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks might seem a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
solution for someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is shy or worried about meeting others,
ironically
it is more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them at home. In fact if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
didn't have that option they would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go out and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, which is a much healthier way to deal with being lonely. There are reports of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
rarely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are addicted
to an 'online existence’ and young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
become aggressive when their parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
offline.

Finally
, even if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, these friendships are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
not
really
what they seem. Unfortunately there have been several reports of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being harmed
by someone they believed was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
us to disguise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
we
really
are.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
honesty is key to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship
clearly
this is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
basis to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
friends.

In conclusion
, I would argue that while the Internet can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with quick and convenient communication for business or travel, or when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in distant places, for a number of reasons it has not increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
cohesion
overall
.
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IELTS essay Some people suggest that social networking and online communication have increased social isolation. In what ways do you think this has happened?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
378 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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