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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: In many modern societies, grandchildren rarely spend any quality time with their grandparents. What will be the consequences of this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

: In many modern societies, grandchildren rarely spend any quality time with their grandparents. What will be the consequences of this? EerM
Present day community, grandchildren fail to spend their precious time with their grandparents This essay will discuss the facts that led to this issue and propose several possible methods can dealing with it. To begin with, overload work pressure, education stress make individuals annoying and they will lost their connection between grandparents. Unfortunately this cause to get health problems in grandparents since being older and older they want to talk with each and everybody. Secondly modern community more prefer to live as a nuclear rather than extended families. This led to spend rare time with grandparents. Consequence of this maybe old age individuals fell into depression and suicide themselves. Finally unable to spend time with them contribute to loss the tradition and culture of some families. Old years people were went to vacation to their grandparents’ home but now people choose different locations to spend their leisure. For a prime example England researchers have found there is increase a number of old age homes they are either kick out form their children or left to fend themselves. In order to resolve this issue government need to take an immediate action above dilemma. They can make the work hours shortly to reduce this problem subsequently. Hence they need to stop making old age homes so its privilege grandparents to be with their children. In addition to this it can cure them from being mental sickness and aloneness. As grandchildren we are responsible to keep them happy. Who are with the grandparents can protect the culture and tradition of our nation it assist to give it for the next generations. In conclusion, Youngers are poor to spend their time with grandparents, balance with the work and home led to reduce this issue.
Present day community, grandchildren fail to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their grandparents

This essay will discuss the facts that led to this issue and propose several possible methods can dealing with it.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, overload work pressure, education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
individuals
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
annoying and
they will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "lose"
lost
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
. Unfortunately this cause to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
health problems in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
since being older and older they want to talk with each and everybody.
Secondly
modern community more prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
as a nuclear
rather
than extended families. This led to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
rare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
. Consequence of this maybe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age individuals fell into depression and suicide themselves.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
unable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with them contribute to loss the tradition and culture of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
families.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Old
years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were
The usual collocation for "vacation" is "on." Did you mean "went on vacation"?
went to vacation
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents’
home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
locations to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their leisure. For a prime example England researchers have found there is increase a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
they are either kick out form their children or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
to fend themselves.

In order to resolve this issue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
need to take an immediate action above dilemma. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the work hours shortly to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this problem
subsequently
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
its privilege
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
to be with their children.
In addition
to this it can
The usual collocation for "cure" is "of" not "them". Did you mean "cure them of"?
cure them from
being mental sickness and
Possible spelling mistake found.
aloneness
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
The comma is probably missing here: "grandchildren, we".
grandchildren we
are responsible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them happy. Who
Did you mean "is"?
are
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
can protect the culture and tradition of our nation it
Did you mean "assists"?
assist
to give it for the
next
generations.

In conclusion
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youngers
are poor to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
, balance with the work and home led to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this issue.
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IELTS essay : In many modern societies, grandchildren rarely spend any quality time with their grandparents. What will be the consequences of this?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
290 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: In many modern societies, grandchildren rarely spend any quality time with their grandparents. What will be the consequences of this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.