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Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects. To what extent do you agree?

Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects. AD2M
Graduation from university or college and stepping into the working world is a big milestone in every person’s life. For a lot of people that is the first job, through which they learn how to behave with colleagues and bosses, how to use their income or pay taxes. Therefore, a part of society believes it should be mandatory that people work for a short period of time during the teenage years while still in school, in order to get to know how the world of work functions. On one hand, this isn’t a good idea because teenagers should be able to enjoy their youth, spend more time with friends and family, and lastly, they already have too much stress because of their education and constant studying. First of all, students from thirteen to nineteen years of age are still young, and they should be able to do what most of their peers around the world do: read, play sports or video games, spend time outside. Moreover, this part of their life is crucial for socializing, and thus it shall be spent in the company of their friends, siblings and parents. Finally, children this age are exposed to stress and even anxiety because of obligations related to school and studying, thereby a job could cause them to worry even more, which may lead to serious problems with mental health. On the other hand, the advantages of teenagers entering the working world include learning how the work enviroment looks like and how it functions, how to use money, and how to become independent. Firstly, because of the fact that the work sphere is complicated and even confusive for young people, they should get to know it earlier, which will reduce the fear and anxiety they can feel after graduating and before getting their first job. Secondly, this could also help them develop their spending, saving and investing habits when it comes to money, as children are rarely aware how much their parents have to work to provide them everyday needs. At the end, this will help their feeling of independence which could emerge earlier than it usually does, due to their gained knowledge about the work environement, wages and other adult obligations. In conclusion, I believe that there are more advantages and possible benefits of teenage children spending a short period of time working, and I agree this should be introduced to the education system because of the abovementioned arguments.
Graduation from university or college and stepping into the working
world
is a
big
milestone in every person’s life. For
a lot of
people
that is
the
first
job, through which they learn how to behave with colleagues and bosses, how to
use
their income or pay taxes.
Therefore
, a part of society believes it should be mandatory that
people
work
for a short period of
time
during the teenage years while
still
in school, in order to
get
to know how the
world
of
work
functions.

On one hand, this isn’t a
good
idea
because
teenagers
should be able to enjoy their youth, spend more
time
with friends and family, and
lastly
, they already have too much
stress
because
of their education and constant studying.
First of all
, students from thirteen to nineteen years of age are
still
young, and they should be able to do what most of their peers around the
world
do: read, play sports or video games, spend
time
outside.
Moreover
, this part of their life is crucial for socializing, and
thus
it shall
be spent
in the
company
of their friends, siblings and parents.
Finally
, children this age
are exposed
to
stress
and even anxiety
because
of obligations related to school and studying, thereby a job could cause them to worry even more, which may lead to serious problems with mental health.

On the other hand
, the advantages of
teenagers
entering the working
world
include learning how the
work
enviroment
looks like and how it functions, how to
use
money, and how to become independent.
Firstly
,
because of the fact that
the
work
sphere
is complicated
and even
confusive
for young
people
, they should
get
to know it earlier, which will
reduce
the fear and anxiety they can feel after graduating and
before
getting their
first
job.
Secondly
, this could
also
help
them develop their spending, saving and investing habits when it
comes
to money, as children are rarely aware how much their parents
have to
work
to provide them everyday needs. At the
end
, this will
help
their feeling of independence which could emerge earlier than it
usually
does, due to their gained knowledge about the
work
environement
, wages and other adult obligations.

In conclusion
, I believe that there are more advantages and possible benefits of teenage children spending a short period of
time
working, and I
agree
this should
be introduced
to the education system
because
of the
abovementioned
arguments.
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IELTS essay Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
408 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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