Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects. To what extent do you agree?

Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects. 312n
Nowadays some schools offer work experience in addition to normal study, giving students the chance to gain some insight into real working situations while also having more traditional academic qualifications. Some employers have recently suggested that young people can graduate from school or university lacking the necessary tools to survive in the world of employ. In my opinion, whilst it is essential that young people gain qualifications, it is also important that they develop a conscious of what will be expected from them in a job. For this reason I think it is a good sense for teenagers to make some work experience as part of their education. Of course, having qualifications will always be assets but only if the young person is also able to adept quickly to the expectations of their employer. There is no benefit in being exceptionally qualified if you don't know what to do on a daily life. By doing work experience, even if it is only making the coffee or photocopies, young people will quickly learn work based skills such as time management and ability for dealing with people of all ages. Furthermore, having work experience demonstrates diligence in a real working context, making the student more employable. Not only does it give them a valuable advantage, it also offers them insight too; they are able to see what certain types of job entail at close range which will enable them to make an informed choice about their plans for the future. Of course there are some small drawbacks to the idea of work experience; students might get distracted by work and not study. However this is outweighed by the gains made by gaining the experience. Overall it is therefore a good idea for students to do some kind of work experience.
Nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
schools offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in addition
to normal study, giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
the chance to gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
insight into real working situations while
also
having more traditional academic qualifications.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
employers have recently suggested that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can graduate from school or university lacking the necessary tools to survive in the world of employ.

In my opinion, whilst it is essential that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gain qualifications, it is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that they develop a conscious of what will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
from them in a job.
For this reason
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sense for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
as part of their education.

Of course
, having qualifications will always be assets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
person is
also
able to adept
quickly
to the expectations of their employer. There is no benefit in being
exceptionally
qualified if you don't know what to do on a daily life. By doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, even if it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
making the coffee or photocopies,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
quickly
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
based
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as time management and ability for dealing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all ages.

Furthermore
, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
demonstrates diligence in a real working context, making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
more employable. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does it give them a valuable advantage, it
also
offers them insight too; they are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
what certain types of job entail at close range which will enable them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an informed choice about their plans for the future.

Of course
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
drawbacks to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
distracted by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and not study.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
this
is outweighed
by the gains made by gaining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
Overall
it is
therefore
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
298 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects. To what extent do you agree?