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Some people say university students should pay for their tuition fees. Some others say the government should pay for the tuition fees. What’s your opinion?

Some people say university students should pay for their tuition fees. Some others say the government should pay for the tuition fees. What’s your opinion? VrGKJ
A sizable percentage of the people hold the opinion that the government should be responsible for the full tuition of college students. They claim that after graduation college students will make much contribution to the society. This argument is true to some degree. However, I am convinced that university students should support themselves for the full tuition. There are many reasons supporting my view. The main reason is that it can ensure the quality of college education. College education needs many well-paid professors and various advanced facilities. In other words, it needs a great sum of money.  If the college students do not pay the tuition fee,  it will lay a heavy burden on the government. If the government is unable to invest enough money on university education because of the limited budget, the quality of education cannot be ensured. It might also be noted that it is quite fair to require students to pay the full tuition. It is unnecessary that all the citizens go to colleges. Some high school leavers give up their further study because they have their own life aim. That is to say, going to university is a totally personal choice. Therefore, it is not unreasonable that the people who make such choice pay for it. Some people may say that students from the countryside and undeveloped areas cannot go to college if they are required to pay full tuition. In fact，there are some feasible methods to solve the problem. The first option is the government grant and bank loan, although they may have to be paid back at a later date.  In addition, students should be encouraged to study hard to win scholarship. Furthermore,  they can work part-time to earn money to cover living expenses. In conclusion, in my opinion, I think college students should pay for the full tuition. It can guarantee the quality of higher education. It is a reasonable practice.  In addition, students from poor families still can go to college even if they have to pay the full tuition.
A sizable percentage of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the opinion that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should be responsible for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
full
tuition of college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. They claim that after graduation college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
much contribution to the society. This argument is true to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
degree.
However
, I
am convinced
that university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should support themselves for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
full
tuition. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons supporting my view.

The main reason is that it can ensure the quality of college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. College
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
well-paid professors and various advanced facilities.
In other words
, it needs a great sum of money.  If the college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
the tuition fee,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
it will lay a heavy burden on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is unable to invest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money on university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the limited budget, the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
cannot
be ensured
.

It might
also
be noted
that it is quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
to require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
full
tuition. It is unnecessary that all the citizens go to colleges.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
high
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
give up their
further
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life aim.
That is
to say, going to university is a
totally
personal choice.
Therefore
, it is not unreasonable that the 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
such choice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for it.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from the countryside and undeveloped areas cannot go to college if they 
are required
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
full
tuition. In
The character '，' is not a standard comma, although it can look like a comma. Use "fact, there".
fact，there
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feasible methods to solve the problem. The
first
option is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
grant and bank loan, although they may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be paid
back at a later date.  
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be encouraged
to study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to win scholarship.
Furthermore
,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
they can work part-time to earn money to cover living expenses.

In conclusion
, in my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
full
tuition. It can guarantee the quality of higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. It is a reasonable practice.  
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from poor families
still
can go to college even if they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
full
tuition.
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IELTS essay Some people say university students should pay for their tuition fees. Some others say the government should pay for the tuition fees. What’s your opinion?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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