Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some People Say The Main Way To Be Happy Is To Have A Lot Of Money

Some People Say The Main Way To Be Happy Is To Have A Lot Of Money 7aaBX
In this era, money is the most important thing which makes life easier and pleasant. However, it is necessary to make your soul more comfortable with luxury items. When a person is living a magnificence life they do not need to worry about anything and with wealth, any problem can be solved. Moreover, the family is the most delightful and peaceful way of happiness. In this essay, we will discuss both views in detail. Firstly, having a lot amount in your bank makes you free from any worry, an individual can travel all around the world, living a splendour life with peacefully and most important you can get whatever you want any time. It automatically makes the person cheerful when he is getting everything instead of wishing for it and not getting it anyhow. For Instance, A folk is planning for a world tour it takes a lot of amounts to explore the global world without any hesitation and it cost far more than expensive. Hence, people living a blissful life having a lot of cash. On the other hand, there is not only bankroll which makes the living more contented. Somehow, there are various things which make existence more cheerful such as, a family is the most valuable. Without family, survival will be easy but with a bloodline, it will become more exciting adventure and thrilling. For example, when a man arranges a picnic with his relatives on the uphill mountains and it is much more adventurous. Where bank cash is valued to stay gleeful. On the other side, it is essential to add more things which make your living satisfied and joyful. Hard cash not always fulfil all the deeds anyhow. In conclusion, currency plays a significant role in life, but it is not only a way of auspicious. While, having kin in their personal space is essential, which make variations of the path to fly over.
In this era, money is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easier and pleasant.
However
, it is necessary to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
your soul more comfortable with luxury items. When a person is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
a magnificence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
they do not need to worry about anything and with wealth, any problem can
be solved
.
Moreover
, the family is the most delightful and peaceful way of happiness. In this essay, we will discuss both views in detail.
Firstly
, having a lot amount in your bank
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
you free from any worry, an individual can travel all around the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
a
Possible spelling mistake. 'splendour' is British English.
splendour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with
peacefully
and most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
whatever you want any time. It
automatically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
the person cheerful when he is getting everything
instead
of wishing for it and not getting it anyhow.
For Instance
, A folk is planning for a world tour it takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
amounts to explore the global world without any hesitation and it cost far more than expensive.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
a blissful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
cash.

On the other hand
, there is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
bankroll which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
more contented. Somehow, there are various things which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
existence more cheerful such

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
, a family is the most valuable. Without family, survival will be easy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with a bloodline, it will become more exciting adventure and thrilling.
For example
, when a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
arranges a picnic with his relatives on the uphill mountains and it is much more adventurous.
“Where” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Where
bank cash
is valued
to stay gleeful. On the other side, it is essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
more things which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
satisfied and joyful.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Hard
cash not always fulfil all the deeds anyhow.

In conclusion
, currency plays a significant role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a way of auspicious. While, having kin in their personal space is essential, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
variations of the path to
fly
over.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some People Say The Main Way To Be Happy Is To Have A Lot Of Money

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some People Say The Main Way To Be Happy Is To Have A Lot Of Money