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Some people say that young people should be encouraged leave home when they become adults while other people claim that it would be better to remain with the family which is your opinion?

Due to modernization, remarkable changes are taking place in family structures. However, there are predominantly two contrasting veiws where a section of society vehemently deems that youngsters should be motivated to live separately from there home when they become adults, while other emphasis that it would be beneficial to live with family. I will discuss both veiws along with my opinion in the forthcoming paragraphs. To embark with, myriad of factors are responsible for living far away from family. First and foremost is that offsprings residing away from their parents become self sufficient. To explain, children do all their daily activities by themselves and do lots of hardwork to fulfill their needs which are necessary for their survival and maintain their budget. Thereby, youngones become independent and understand not only the values of wealth but also the values of hardwork. Moreover, youngsters can have personal development by learning various skills. To vindicate, when children live in unfamiliar social environment, it pushes them to adapt to that environment by which they imbibe skills such as communication. What is more, they are free to make their own decisions. As a result, they live their life to the fullest. However, other side cannot be overlooked. Primarily, parents as well as children give emotional and financial support to each other. To substantiate, birth givers facilitate their offsprings in difficult situation by sharing experiences of life which helps them to tackle with hindrance. Apart from it, parents also need support in later age. Furthermore, they can share their cost of living. Therefore, they can invest extravagant amount of money on their business. Additionally, children do not get involved in anti social activities under the guidance of parents and always respects their elders. To encapsulate, by considering both aspects, I assert that they both have their own advantages but dwelling with their family has more benefits.
Due to modernization, remarkable
changes
are taking place in
family
structures.
However
, there are
predominantly
two contrasting
veiws
where a section of society
vehemently
deems that youngsters should
be motivated
to
live
separately
from there home when they become adults, while other emphasis that it would be beneficial to
live
with
family
. I will discuss both
veiws
along with my opinion in the forthcoming paragraphs. To embark with, myriad of factors are responsible for living far away from
family
.
First
and foremost is that offsprings residing away from their
parents
become
self sufficient
. To
explain
,
children
do all their daily activities by themselves and do lots of
hardwork
to fulfill their needs which are necessary for their survival and maintain their budget. Thereby,
youngones
become independent and understand not
only
the values of wealth
but
also
the values of
hardwork
.
Moreover
, youngsters can have personal development by learning various
skills
. To vindicate, when
children
live
in unfamiliar social environment, it pushes them to adapt to that environment by which they imbibe
skills
such as communication.
What is more
, they are free to
make
their
own
decisions.
As a result
, they
live
their life to the fullest.
However
, other side cannot
be overlooked
.
Primarily
,
parents
as well
as
children
give emotional and financial support to each other. To substantiate, birth givers facilitate their offsprings in difficult situation by sharing experiences of life which
helps
them to tackle with hindrance. Apart from it,
parents
also
need support in later age.
Furthermore
, they can share their cost of living.
Therefore
, they can invest extravagant amount of money on their business.
Additionally
,
children
do not
get
involved in
anti social
activities under the guidance of
parents
and always respects their elders. To encapsulate, by considering both aspects, I assert that they both have their
own
advantages
but
dwelling with their
family
has more benefits.
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IELTS essay Some people say that young people should be encouraged leave home when they become adults while other people claim that it would be better to remain with the family which is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
310 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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