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some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge

World over governments receive money on the taxes paid by individuals as well as the companies. Since the money collected in different form of taxes goes to the government there is always an argument of proper utilisation of the money. And also the people have the right to question the government on the same. This is a common practice world over to spend the money on training individuals to participate in the international sporting events. Sports ministries receive a portion of the budget to spend on all the events and the training programs. Compared to the allocations different ministries receive sports is always vary minimal. I disagree to not spend money on international sporting events and training. when we look at the advantages, sports events unites different kinds of people and bring them on the same platform. This serves to recognise the hidden talent and acts as a motivation to different kinds of people. This can be considered as an investment which benefits people in a different way. For example India previously was playing cricket with different countries with a limited budget and tours. There never used to be any regular events. From late 2000's ever since the Indian Premier League started cricketers from all over the world started to play and participate in the event. The government started receiving more money in the form of taxes as Food, Hotel, travel and aviation sectors have grown. This has helped not only in increasing the revenues to the government but also it showed growth in employment. It has contributed in the economic upliftment of people by way of creating opportunities. Instead of not spending money and limit the scope of growth it is always better to create the opportunities for growth which can be transfered back to general public.
World over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on the taxes paid by individuals
as well
as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
the
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money
collected in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
form of taxes goes to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
there is always an argument of proper
Possible spelling mistake. ‘utilisation’ is British English.
utilisation
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. And
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the right to question the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
on the same. This is a common practice world over to spend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on training individuals to participate in the international sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. Sports ministries receive a portion of the budget to spend on all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
and the training programs. Compared to the allocations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
ministries receive sports is always vary minimal. I disagree to not spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on international sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
and training.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
when
we look at the advantages, sports
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events
unites
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and bring them on the same platform. This serves to
Possible spelling mistake. ‘recognise’ is British English.
recognise
the hidden talent and acts as a motivation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This can
be considered
as an investment which benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
way.
For example
India previously was playing cricket with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
countries with a limited budget and tours. There never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be any regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. From late
Apostrophes aren’t needed for decades: “2000s”.
2000's
ever since the Indian Premier League
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
cricketers from all over the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to play and participate in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
receiving more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in the form of taxes as Food, Hotel, travel and aviation sectors have grown. This has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in increasing the revenues to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
growth in employment. It has contributed in the economic
Possible spelling mistake found.
upliftment
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by way of creating opportunities.
Instead
of not spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and limit the scope of growth it is always better to create the opportunities for growth which can be
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean “transferred”, the past tense form of the verb ‘transfer’?
transfered
back to
Consider using only “public” to avoid wordiness.
general public
.
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IELTS essay some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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