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Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction.

It is often considered that to choose a job that you are into is not more essential than a job with a high wage. I completely disagree with this statement and think that job satisfaction is much more important than salary. First of all, I believe that job satisfaction gives people a wide range of choices and pleasure that nothing else can grant. Even if someone is working moonlight for earning a lot of money, but is unable to have a rest or feel a sense of satisfaction, that person will not enjoy his life. Moreover, it might trigger some serious problems such as depression and anxiety. While doing what you love will always bring you the most positive feelings that you hope for. For example, my father had a chance to be a very good doctor, but he chose another job which he always dreamed of, because he was passionate about computers. That’s why it is more essential to choose the kind of work that makes you happy than only thinking about a big salary. Secondly, people who are keen on doing their jobs are usually very motivated and actually they have a certain plan or direction which leads to a career growth. In other words, if the person pleasures from his or her work it possibly means that their productivity and profitability will grow tremendously and they can easily gain an insight into their major with very good achievements than those, who put salary on the first place. For instance, most scientists begin their careers with ups and downs instead of earning the easy money in one place. It seems to be somewhat risky, but the love to their job is constantly on their mind and does not give them to stay in one place. That is why they usually achieve better results and earn a lot of money in their fields. Thus, people even can earn a high wage by doing a job that are passionate about. In conclusion, I strongly believe that job satisfaction is more beneficial than big salary because it makes people delighted and motivated.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
considered that to choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that you are into is not more essential than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with a high wage. I completely disagree with this statement and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
.
Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a wide range of choices and pleasure that nothing else can grant. Even if someone is working moonlight for earning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is unable to have a rest or feel a sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
, that person will not enjoy his life.
Moreover
, it might trigger
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious problems such as depression and anxiety. While doing what you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
will always bring you the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
feelings that you hope for.
For example
, my father had a chance to be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
doctor,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he chose another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which he always dreamed of,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he was passionate about computers. That’s why it is more essential to choose the kind of work that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you happy than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thinking about a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are keen on doing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are
usually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
motivated and actually they have a certain plan or direction which leads to a career growth.
In other words
, if the person pleasures from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
work it
possibly
means that their productivity and profitability will grow
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
tremendously and
they can
easily
gain an insight into their major with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
achievements than those, who put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
on the
first
place.
For instance
, most scientists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
their careers with ups and downs
instead
of earning the easy money in one place. It seems to be somewhat risky,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is
constantly
on their mind and does not give them to stay in one place.
That is
why they
usually
achieve better results and earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money in their fields.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even can earn a high wage by doing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that are passionate about.
In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is more beneficial than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
delighted and motivated.
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IELTS essay Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
351 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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