Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that wild-life trade should be banned. To what extend do you agree or disagree

Some people say that wild-life trade should be banned. rL0V2
It is believed that the process of buying and selling wild animals should be criminalized. In my opinion, I strongly agree with prohibiting such activities due to a variety of reasons: overexploitation and the risks of consuming bushmeat. First and foremost, the commercialisation of wild life may cause overexploitation. The legal global wildlife trade is worth roughly 300 billion dollars not taking illegal trade into account. A study have shown that human kind has killed off 60 percent of wild life creating a problem of overexploitation. As this issue go on, the natural balance of ecosystem will be disrupted, leading species to the verge of extinction. Furthermore, wild-life trade may push the consumption of bush meat, exposing consumers with serious risks. Bush meat is considered a delicacy in some parts of the world, but there may be a underlying risk of acquiring zoonotic diseases for consumers. To name but a few, Ebola virus, cholera, small pox and many other transmissive diseases from bush meat. ‘ Wet Market’, where wild animal’s meat is often found in Asia, contributes to the emergence of many infectious diseases. A good case in point is a ‘wet market’ in Wuhan (China) where Covid-19, which caused a global pandemic, was initially founded. Those who are in favor of wild-life trade may claim that banning it will take away a source of protein from parts of the world’s population such as people in central Africa. However, this benefit can not outweigh the danger that it gives. People can still use farming as an alternative solution for the lack of protein. In conclusion, I strongly agree that the dealings of wild animals should be forbidden for it may lead to overexploitation and putting consumers of bush meat at great risks.
It
is believed
that the process of buying and selling wild animals should
be criminalized
. In my opinion, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with prohibiting such activities due to a variety of reasons: overexploitation and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
of consuming
Possible spelling mistake found.
bushmeat
.

First
and foremost, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'commercialisation' is British English.
commercialisation
of wild life may cause overexploitation. The legal global wildlife
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
is worth roughly 300 billion dollars not taking illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
into account. A study have shown that human kind has killed off 60 percent of wild life creating a problem of overexploitation. As this issue go on, the natural balance of ecosystem will
be disrupted
, leading species to the verge of extinction.

Furthermore
, wild-life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
may push the consumption of bush
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
, exposing consumers with serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
. Bush
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
is considered
a delicacy in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there may be
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
underlying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
of acquiring zoonotic diseases for consumers. To name
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a few, Ebola virus, cholera,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
pox and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other transmissive diseases from bush
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
. ‘ Wet Market’, where wild animal’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
found in Asia, contributes to the emergence of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
infectious diseases. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
case in point is a ‘wet market’ in Wuhan (China) where Covid-19, which caused a global pandemic, was
initially
founded.

Those who are in favor of wild-life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
may claim that banning it will take away a source of protein from parts of the world’s population such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
central Africa
.
However
, this benefit can not outweigh the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
that it gives.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
can
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
farming as an alternative solution for the lack of protein.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the dealings of wild animals should
be forbidden
for it may lead to overexploitation and putting consumers of bush
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
at great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people say that wild-life trade should be banned.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
292 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts