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Some people say that we shouldn't be so dependent on computers. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people say that we shouldn't be so dependent on computers. AadAL
During the previous century, humanity has witnessed tremendous improvements, especially in the technological field. Nevertheless, humans are nowadays highly dependent on computers. To that numerous persons assert that this should not be the case, whilst others refute this opinion. Personally, I agree with the first statement for many reasons, this essay will discuss both views and showcase the several drawbacks that could be derived from this dependence. First and foremost, at a first glimpse computers may seem impenetrable and completely secure. However, hacking laptops can easily be done, then sensitive information could be stolen and used against us. Indeed, viruses can penetrate laptops and workstations, then hackers can take control of our gadgets and do whatever they want with them. Moreover, electronic brains are themselves dependent on electricity and power, consequently, we can assert that those machines are not as reliable as we think. From another perspective, no one can deny that IT improvements have made our life so much easier. Effectively, electronic machines are super convenient, they can process calculations in a blink of an eye and they can store a huge amount of information. Furthermore, many anti-virus software was developed with the aim of making those instruments more secure. In addition to that, e-mails and social networks allow people to communicate all around the globe for either personal or professional purposes. To conclude, it is crystal clear that the emergence of computers has allowed many developments, however, we should be aware of the dangers of high dependence on those gadgets.
During the previous century, humanity has witnessed tremendous improvements,
especially
in the technological field.
Nevertheless
, humans are nowadays
highly
dependent on computers. To that numerous persons assert that this should not be the case, whilst others refute this opinion.
Personally
, I
agree
with the
first
statement for
many
reasons, this essay will discuss both views and showcase the several drawbacks that could
be derived
from this dependence.

First
and foremost, at a
first
glimpse computers may seem impenetrable and completely secure.
However
, hacking laptops can
easily
be done
, then sensitive information could
be stolen
and
used
against us.
Indeed
, viruses can penetrate laptops and workstations, then hackers can take control of our gadgets and do whatever they want with them.
Moreover
, electronic brains are themselves dependent on electricity and power,
consequently
, we can assert that those machines are not as reliable as we
think
.

From another perspective, no one can deny that IT improvements have made our life
so
much easier.
Effectively
, electronic machines are super convenient, they can process calculations in a blink of an
eye and
they can store a huge amount of information.
Furthermore
,
many
anti-virus software
was developed
with the aim of making those instruments more secure.
In addition
to that, e-mails and social networks
allow
people
to communicate all around the globe for either personal or professional purposes.

To conclude
, it is crystal
clear
that the emergence of computers has
allowed
many
developments,
however
, we should be aware of the
dangers
of high dependence on those gadgets.
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IELTS essay Some people say that we shouldn't be so dependent on computers.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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