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Some people say that TV advertisements are helpful for viewers, while others disagree. What is your opinion?

Some people say that TV advertisements are helpful for viewers, while others disagree. What is your opinion? yKDg
Television has become the household commodity since past and today most of people watch TV for several hours a day. Some people believe that TV advertisements are effective for people who watch it while others say that it is the waste of time. I support the former view as TV advertisement provides the information of the different new products in the market. To begin with, nowadays advertisement is the easy way on mass media to provide the information of the newly launched product in the market which is quite beneficial for the viewers to become updated about recently arrived products. These ads are most helpful for the promotion of the things as well. By theses advertisements people become informed about the different products which are available in the market and this can ease them to choose products accordingly. Moreover, the viewers can differentiate the features available in the products which enhance the popularity of the products. Foe instance, Apple phones are very much popular among the people worldwide only due to the power of advertisements. On the contrary, advertisements on tv is the main cause in making the public shopaholic as by watching the ads on the mass media they get attracted towards new product and purchase it blindly either they needed it or not. This force them towards unnecessary shopping which impact on their budget negatively. In addition, TV advertisements also affect the local business, for example, today most of the youngsters buy branded products rather than locally produced products. It has adverse effects on the local business. To conclude, although the advertisements on TV can cause distraction among public but it is sure that these ads brings positive impacts in boosting productivity and sales of the different products, hence, i believe that mass media should promote ads more for the fruitful results in future.
Television has become the household commodity since past and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV for several hours a day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are effective for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
it while others say that it is the waste of time. I support the former view as TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
provides the information of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in the market.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is the easy way on mass media to provide the information of the
newly
launched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in the market which is quite beneficial for the viewers to become updated about recently arrived
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. These ads are most helpful for the promotion of the things
as well
. By
Did you mean "these"?
theses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become informed about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which are available in the market and this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
them to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
accordingly
.
Moreover
, the viewers can differentiate the features available in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which enhance the popularity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Foe instance, Apple phones are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much popular among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
worldwide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
due to the power of advertisements.

On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
is the main cause in making the public shopaholic as by watching the ads on the mass media they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attracted towards new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
it
blindly
either they needed it or not. This force them towards unnecessary shopping which impact on their budget
negatively
.
In addition
, TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
also
affect the local business,
for example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
most of the youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
branded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
rather
than
locally
produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. It has adverse effects on the local business.

To conclude
, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
on TV can cause distraction among public
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
In English, people don't say 'it is sure'. They say, 'it is certain that'. Did you mean "it is certain"?
it is sure
that these ads brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts in boosting productivity and sales of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
hence
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that mass media should promote ads more for the fruitful results
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that TV advertisements are helpful for viewers, while others disagree. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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