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Some people say that traveeling is a valuable experience other think it is a waste of time.Discuss both of the views.

Some people say that traveeling is a valuable experience other think it is a waste of time. d32Qr
In the era of modernization, some individuals consider that travelling is very precious experience as it enable people to explore new things and enhance their creativity. However some other argues that there is nothing beneficial in traveeling as it is a waste of time and wealth. This essay will discusss the both views in forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there are numerous valuable thing which humans can learn from traveling. Firstly it enables us to explore new places and cultures. By visiting new place one can come to about the knowledge of their culture and historical information about that place. Furthermore it will broaden masses mind by providing them a greater experience. Apart from this, it relive humans from the stress and tension of their works and study. As it interconnect us with the nature and its beauty. For example according to survey those people who traveled more are enable to score good marks in their history subject. On the contrary those who reckon that it is a wastage of time because travelling requires a lot of expenses such as fuel price, accommodation and food which are too expensive. Additionally needs a lot of time however people think that they should spend this time in educational sector as compare to travelling. To recapitulate, i opine that travelling is a greater experience to understand the culture and traditions of new places and it enhance one’s creativity.
In the era of modernization,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
precious experience as it enable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things and enhance their creativity.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other argues that there is nothing beneficial in
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveeling
as it is a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and wealth. This essay will
Possible spelling mistake found.
discusss
the both views in forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there are numerous valuable thing which humans can learn from traveling.
Firstly
it enables us to explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and cultures. By visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to about the knowledge of their culture and historical information about that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
it will broaden masses mind by providing them a greater experience. Apart from this, it
Did you mean "relives"?
relive
humans from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and tension of their works and study. As it interconnect us with the nature and its beauty.
For example
according to survey those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who traveled more are enable to score
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
marks in their history subject.
On the contrary
those who reckon that it is a wastage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
expenses such as fuel price, accommodation and food which are too expensive.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Additionally
needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
however
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they should spend this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in educational sector as compare to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
. To recapitulate,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
is a greater experience to understand the culture and traditions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and it
Did you mean "enhances"?
enhance
one’s creativity.
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IELTS essay Some people say that traveeling is a valuable experience other think it is a waste of time.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
235 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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