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Crime prevention rather than punishment is the key to solve the problem. Agree or disagree

Crime prevention rather than punishment is the key to solve the problem. Agree or disagree Vy1XA
It is often said that preventing crime would help with decreasing crime rate more than imposing punishment to criminals. To some extent, I do agree that crime prevention can address the problem, while I also believe that giving punishment to perpetrators can be a great solution as well. On the one hand, the opinion on preventing crime is attractive. The primary reason is that it works on reducing the number of people committing crime, but no one will have to be imprisoned. This will lead to a more civilized society as less people do time, while crime rate can be sorted out. For example, educating children at school from early ages about rudimentary law can cut down the number of potential lawbreakers down the road. This will work because they will grow up having a good base for laws, being able to tell which is an anti-social behaviour and how to prevent wrongdoings. On the other hand, even though crime prevention is helpful, it can not decrease the crime rate 100%. Especially, some cases when the criminals break the rules on purpose in spite of knowing about laws. Therefore, the government needs to give punishment to those who break the laws. For instance, a number of drug addicts will ignore the laws and attempt to commit crimes such as burglary, kidnapping or even murdering in order to have money to buy more drugs. Criminals in these serious crimes must be apprehended and given proper punishments. To conclude, while there are some benefits to prevent crimes, I also support giving punishment to lawbreakers in some serious cases which crime prevention does not impact
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that preventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with decreasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate more than imposing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
to criminals. To
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
prevention can address the problem, while I
also
believe that giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
to perpetrators can be a great solution
as well
.

On the one hand, the opinion on preventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is attractive. The primary reason is that it works on reducing the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no one will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be imprisoned
. This will lead to a more civilized society as
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do time, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate can
be sorted
out.
For example
, educating children at school from early ages about rudimentary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down the number of potential lawbreakers down the road. This will work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will grow up having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
base for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
, being able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
which is an anti-social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
wrongdoings.

On the other hand
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
prevention is helpful, it can not decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate 100%.
Especially
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases when the criminals break the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
on purpose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
knowing about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
to those who break the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
.
For instance
, a number of drug addicts will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
and attempt to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
such as burglary, kidnapping or even murdering in order to have money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more drugs. Criminals in these serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be apprehended
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
proper punishments.

To conclude
, while there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, I
also
support giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
to lawbreakers in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious cases which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
prevention does not impact

IELTS essay Crime prevention rather than punishment is the key to solve the problem. Agree or disagree

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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