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Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree about this opinion?

Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds. about this opinion? xy01
The protection of wildlife has become a frequent subject of debate with strong arguments for and against. Personally, I believe that humans are paying too much attention and allocating too many resources to this issue, as will now be explained. Firstly, if we allow any species to disappear, this is actually not a disaster. Some people may argue that the biology will be seriously affected if birds and wild animals are on the verge of extinction, but this is an exaggeration. Fossil evidence suggests that the mass disappearance of the dinosaur did not cause any harm to other species on the Earth but merely triggered the emergence of others such as the mammal. Therefore, we should not devote too much attention to the protection of wildlife. Secondly, public money is limited. This means that the national budget should be allocated to more urgent issues rather than expending too much in the conservation of wild animals and birds. For example, more resources should be diverted to medical research to find out remedies for fatal diseases such as HIV and cancer, which may help to save thousands of lives in society. Finally, the government can simply protect wildlife by continuing campaigns to raise public awareness of the protection of wildlife habitats, or impose stricter punishments on activities that may harm wild animals. Any individual who hunts wildlife for food or for pleasure should be given a heavy fine, and this may discourage them from threatening the life of wild animals. In conclusion, while I do not refute the argument for the conservation of wildlife, I believe that it should attract less attention and fewer resources from the public.
The protection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
has become a frequent subject of debate with strong arguments

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
and against.
Personally
, I believe that humans are paying too much attention and

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
allocating
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
resources to this issue, as will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
.

Firstly
, if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
any species to disappear, this is actually not a disaster.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
people


may argue that the biology will be
seriously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
if birds and wild animals are on the

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
verge
of extinction,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this is an exaggeration. Fossil evidence suggests that the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
mass


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
disappearance
of the dinosaur did not cause any harm to other species on the Earth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
merely
triggered the emergence of others such as the mammal.
Therefore
, we should not

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
devote
too much attention to the protection of wildlife.

Secondly
, public money
is limited
. This means that the national budget should be
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
allocated


to more urgent issues
rather
than expending too much in the conservation of wild animals

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
birds.
For example
, more resources should
be diverted
to medical research to find
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
out


remedies for fatal diseases such as HIV and cancer, which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to save thousands of

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lives
in society.

Finally
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
simply
protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
by continuing campaigns to raise

public awareness of the protection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
habitats, or impose stricter punishments on

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
activities
that may harm wild animals. Any individual who hunts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
for food or
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
for


pleasure should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a heavy fine, and this may discourage them from threatening the

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
life
of wild animals.

In conclusion
, while I do not refute the argument for the conservation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
, I believe

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
that
it should attract less attention and fewer resources from the public.
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IELTS essay Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds. about this opinion?

Essay
  American English
20 paragraphs
276 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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