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Some people say that to solve today’s global program every nation should have a good relationship with other nations. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What do you think about cooperation and communication between countries? v.1

Some people say that to solve today’s global program every nation should have a good relationship with other nations. What do you think about cooperation and communication between countries? v. 1
Some individuals opine that the establishment of a close-knit affiliation among different countries throughout the world can address the contemporary universal problems. I do agree with this notion, and collaboration and communication among nations are the key elements to achieve the aforementioned target. It is undeniable that global issues can be tackled if there is a concrete relationship among nations worldwide. Firstly, there are many global troubles going beyond the capacity of each individual nation, which requires the unification of many governments to together fight against them. Take the global crisis of climate change as an example. In order to wholly solve such problem, in 1997, 192 out of 195 parties signed the Kyoto Protocol – an international treaty, to commit to reducing greenhouse gas emissions by themselves. Secondly, countries having a harmonious relationship with each other can minimize their chances of involving in unwanted wars and conflicts. By doing this, they can ultimately contribute to building and sustaining a peaceful world. There are two main reasons to explain that actions of cooperating and communicating are the fundamental elements to achieve a close partnership among countries. It starts with the fact that communication is always the earliest stage of any relationship. Many nations can organize international summits or government visits to profoundly understand each other’s problems and inclinations. This can pave the way for their sustainable partnerships that are based on mutual understanding. Furthermore, cooperation is the signal of a healthy relationship among countries. For instance, with the immigration crisis of refugees flooding to EU countries, instead of sealing the border some governments decided to cooperate with host nations to aid their citizens and confirm burden-sharing arrangements among them. In conclusion, I would argue that different countries need to establish a correlation to together tackle the global issues, and in order to accomplish such purpose they should remember that communication and cooperation are the two decisive components.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals opine that the establishment of a close-knit affiliation among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
throughout the world can address the contemporary universal problems. I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion, and collaboration and communication among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are the key elements to achieve the aforementioned target.

It is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
issues can
be tackled
if there is a concrete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
worldwide.
Firstly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
troubles going beyond the capacity of each individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
, which requires the unification of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to together fight against them. Take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
crisis of climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
as an example. In order to wholly solve such problem, in 1997, 192 out of 195 parties signed the Kyoto Protocol
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
an international treaty, to commit to reducing greenhouse gas emissions by themselves.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
having a harmonious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
with each other can minimize their chances of involving in unwanted wars and conflicts. By doing this, they can
ultimately
contribute to building and sustaining a peaceful world.

There are two main reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
that actions of cooperating and communicating are the fundamental elements to achieve a close partnership among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
with the fact that communication is always the earliest stage of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
can organize international summits or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
visits to
profoundly
understand each other’s problems and inclinations. This can pave the way for their sustainable partnerships that
are based
on mutual understanding.
Furthermore
, cooperation is the signal of a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For instance
, with the immigration crisis of refugees flooding to EU
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
instead
of sealing the border
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
decided to cooperate with host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
to aid their citizens and confirm burden-sharing arrangements among them.

In conclusion
, I would argue that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
need to establish a correlation to together tackle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
issues, and in order to accomplish such purpose they should remember that communication and cooperation are the two decisive components.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that to solve today’s global program every nation should have a good relationship with other nations. What do you think about cooperation and communication between countries? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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