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Some people say that those who do not join the military service should pay an amount of money to the army. Others think military service is still a must. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that those who do not join the military service should pay an amount of money to the army. Others think military service is still a must. wnROE
It is argued that those who do not join the military service should pay an amount of money to the army. Other people, however, argue that military service is still a must. Ever since the U. S. military became an all-volunteer force, a preconception has existed among many Americans that those who choose to join the armed services do so because they have no other options. That is the hypothethis of two studies released this year. Both debunk that stereotype, finding that the military is much more diverse ― and troops have much more varied reasons for signing up ― than some have assumed. “. . . our analysis suggests that, despite the increasing economic inequality and the erosion of many low-skill occupational opportunities, the U. S. military has not become a refuge for the less fortunate, ” write authors Andrea Asoni, Andrea Gilli, Mauro Gilli and Tino Sandanaji in “A mercenary army of the poor? Technological change and the demographic composition of the post-9/11 U. S. military, ” a report published January in the Journal of Strategic Studies. Another study, based on a 2018 survey of Americans, sought to analyze not only why Americans join the military, but why others think they join. “We find that, despite the reality of market-based recruitment, many Americans continue to subscribe to an idealized image of service members as moved by self-sacrificing patriotism, ” wrote Ronald Krebs and Robert Ralston in “Patriotism or Paychecks: Who Believes What About Why Soldiers Serve, ” published in Armed Forces and Society. “This belief is most heavily concentrated among conservative Americans, ” they found. “Liberal Americans are more likely to believe that service members join primarily for economic reasons. Those furthest to the left are more inclined to aver that service members join chiefly to escape desperate circumstances. ” Further, within families with service members, there was a disconnect between the members’ motivations and their families’ assumptions.
It
is argued
that those who do not
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join
the military
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
should pay an amount of money to the army. Other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
however
, argue that military
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service
is
still
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
. Ever since the U. S. military became an all-volunteer force, a preconception has existed among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Americans that those who choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
join
the armed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have no other options.

That is
the
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hypothethis
of two studies released this year. Both debunk that stereotype, finding that the military is much more diverse ― and troops have much more varied reasons for signing up ― than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
have assumed.

“.
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.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
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our
analysis suggests that, despite the increasing economic inequality and the erosion of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
low-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
occupational opportunities, the U. S. military has not become a refuge for the less fortunate,
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
”
write authors Andrea
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Asoni
, Andrea
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Gilli
, Mauro
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Gilli
and
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Tino
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Sandanaji
in “A mercenary army of the poor? Technological
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and the demographic composition of the post-9/11 U. S. military,
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
”
a report published January in the Journal of Strategic Studies.

Another study, based on a 2018 survey of Americans, sought to analyze not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
why Americans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
join
the military,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
.

“We find that, despite the reality of market-based recruitment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Americans continue to subscribe to an idealized image of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
by self-sacrificing patriotism,
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
”
wrote Ronald Krebs and Robert
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ralston
in “Patriotism or Paychecks: Who Believes What About Why Soldiers Serve,
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
”
published in Armed Forces and Society.

“This belief is most
heavily
concentrated among conservative Americans,
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
”
they found. “Liberal Americans are more likely to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
join
primarily
for economic reasons. Those furthest to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
are more inclined to aver that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
join
chiefly
to escape desperate circumstances. ”

Further
, within families with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
, there was a disconnect between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members’
motivations and their families’ assumptions.
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IELTS essay Some people say that those who do not join the military service should pay an amount of money to the army. Others think military service is still a must.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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