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some people say that these celebrations are a waste of money and we should spend money on more important things. Do you agree or disagree?

some people say that these celebrations are a waste of money and we should spend money on more important things. aqBEV
Many people believe that they should spend money on doing more crucial things instead of holding other money-cost ceremonies. From my perspective, I totally disagree with this point. In this essay, I shall shed light on the topic because of two main reasons. Firstly, people should host some significant festivals to preserve the beautifully cultural features of their ethnicity. In many countries, they usually celebrate many ceremonies to remember their ancestors and maintain the traditional custom. Moreover, it is also used to educate the young generation that it is necessary for them to inherit and remember all historical values and their culture. For example, in Vietnam, people organise the ceremony of death anniversary of the Hung Vuong Kingdom, who built this country on march 10th lunar calendar to honor their merits. Last but not least, investing money in celebrations would help promote their country's image to the world. When the typical pictures of those festivals are brought out to the world, many foreigners will know and have the desire to go to those countries. Gradually, these nations would attract more attention from many people and have more chances to collaborate with other countries about economy and tourism field. For instance, Vietnam is one of the nation with various culture. By many famous ceremonies, this country is visited by a large number of tourists each year, so Vietnam is developing with fast speed, especially for economy and tourism. In conclusion, people should spend money on hosting the famous festivals to gain many benefits in their country.
Many
people
believe that they should spend money on doing more crucial things
instead
of holding other money-cost
ceremonies
. From my perspective, I
totally
disagree with this point. In this essay, I shall shed light on the topic
because
of two main reasons.
Firstly
,
people
should host
some
significant festivals to preserve the
beautifully
cultural features of their ethnicity. In
many
countries
, they
usually
celebrate
many
ceremonies
to remember their ancestors and maintain the traditional custom.
Moreover
, it is
also
used
to educate the young generation that it is necessary for them to inherit and remember all historical values and their culture.
For example
, in Vietnam,
people
organise
the
ceremony
of death anniversary of the Hung
Vuong
Kingdom, who built this
country
on
march
10th lunar calendar to honor their merits. Last
but
not least, investing money in celebrations would
help
promote their country's image to the world. When the typical pictures of those festivals
are brought
out to the world,
many
foreigners will know and have the desire to go to those
countries
.
Gradually
, these nations would attract more attention from
many
people
and have more chances to collaborate with other
countries
about economy and tourism field.
For instance
, Vietnam is one of the nation with various culture. By
many
famous
ceremonies
, this
country
is visited
by
a large number of
tourists each year,
so
Vietnam is developing with
fast
speed,
especially
for economy and tourism.
In conclusion
,
people
should spend money on hosting the
famous
festivals to gain
many
benefits in their
country
.
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IELTS essay some people say that these celebrations are a waste of money and we should spend money on more important things.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
255 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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