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Children’s having problem of over weight

Children’s having problem of over weight g5yw1
In these modern times people are worried about there children for being overweight, due to the there eating habits and addicted towards the junk food for instance pasta. These all are being anytime favourite food of children in nowadays. These days due to spreading pandemic disease COVID 19 children are packed in house and they are in habit of spending whole day on most of the time with gadgets or just cooking fast foods at home or children left out with the habit of physical activities or outdoor games. Nowadays after spending a year in house, children use to continue their habit as addicted towards the gadgets and playing team games for example mini Malaysia, PUBG etc Due to this habits the children are not in habit to give a sufficient time to there body and they are in habit of following schedule as eat to play to sleep and repeat the same because of this they are not interested in doing curricular activities and being lazy. So, according to me there is only a solution that parents should play a strict role to improve the body structure which had been destroyed due to overweight of body, by giving Proper balance diet and a healthy meals according to the proper time schedule. Children should spend at least two hours for there body tunning by doing home workouts, yoga, meditation and should help parents in household routine works such as grooming, mooping, dusting etc except that two hours of workouts. We must acknowledge that children with overweight in such A young age can cause Many difficulties and have to face many non communicable diseases
In these modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are worried
about there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for being overweight, due to the there eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
and addicted towards the junk food
for instance
pasta. These all are being anytime
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
food of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
nowadays is used without 'in'. Use simply: "nowadays".
in nowadays
.

These days due to spreading pandemic disease
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
COVID 19
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children
are packed
in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
house and
they are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
of spending whole day on most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with gadgets or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
cooking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
foods at home or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
out with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
of physical activities or outdoor games. Nowadays after spending a year in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
continue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
as addicted towards the gadgets and playing team games
for example
mini Malaysia, PUBG
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
etc


Due to
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
to give a sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to there
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
body and
they are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
of following schedule as eat to play to sleep and repeat the same
because of this
they are not interested in doing curricular activities and being lazy.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, according to me there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a solution that parents should play a strict role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
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body
structure which had been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
due to overweight of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
, by giving Proper balance diet and a healthy
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "meal"?
meals
according to the proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
schedule.

Children should spend at least two hours for there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
Possible spelling mistake found.
tunning
by doing home workouts, yoga, meditation and should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
parents in household routine works such as grooming,
Possible spelling mistake found.
mooping
, dusting etc except that two hours of workouts. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
acknowledge that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with overweight in such A young age can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
difficulties and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non communicable
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
diseases
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IELTS essay Children’s having problem of over weight

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
272 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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